Which “Sesame Street” Character Should PBS Send To The White House Easter Egg Roll?

They’re only sending one.

White House officials did not respond to several weeks’ worth of inquiries about the Easter Egg Roll, typically a heavily and enthusiastically promoted affair, and declined to provide basic information such as how many people are expected to attend. It is unclear, for instance, whether Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, will reprise his appearance in a bunny suit for the event, as he did a decade ago when George W. Bush was president and Mr. Spicer was an aide in the Office of the United States Trade Representative…

The district is up in arms about the apparent lack of planning surrounding the “most elaborate and most heavily scrutinized public event of the year.” Yes, it is actually a huge fucking deal and requires a lot of planning, coordination, communication with vendors, and transparency about schedules, and general responsibility. Could this concerning lack of clarity from the Trump administration be a metaphor for its competence in all matters bureaucratic? Sure, why the hell not.

But I have a more pressing question:

The Easter Egg Roll has been crowded in past years with cast members from “Sesame Street,” but this year, there will be a lone emissary.

Who should it be? I have a few suggestions. How about Rosita La Monstrua de las Cuevas, the show’s first Latina (and bilingual) muppet?

Or Segi, a black muppet who loves her hair?

Okay, yes, I realize that it’s functionally more reasonable to have one of the “bigger” characters who can suit up in a human-sized costume, but it would be too weird to have a giant bird helping kids look for eggs on a lawn (much weirder than a bunny, right?), and Cookie Monster is too obvious. No, the correct choice in this case would be Mr. Aloysius Snuffleupagus, also known as “Snuffy,” who was for many years and many seasons only visible to Big Bird, and nobody believed him. Until one day in 1985:

“Big Bird, you have a right to be angry. Because, after all this time and we didn’t believe you? That must’ve been very hard for you.”
In an interview on a Canadian telethon that was hosted by Bob McGrath, Snuffy’s performer, Martin P. Robinson, revealed that Snuffy was finally introduced to the main human cast mainly due to a string of high-profile and sometimes graphic stories of pedophilia and sexual abuse of children that had been aired on shows such as 60 Minutes and 20/20. The writers felt that by having the adults refuse to believe Big Bird despite the fact that he was telling the truth, they were scaring children into thinking that their parents would not believe them if they had been sexually abused and that they would just be better off remaining silent.

Yes, that seems like a good lesson for the children. Here’s an exhaustive list of Trump’s imaginary friends: