The Bad Influence
Published in

The Bad Influence

HUMOR | SATIRE

7 Ways To Avoid Being Accidentally Swallowed By A Sperm Whale

When swimming fast isn’t an option

How to avoid being eaten by sperm whales. Image from Adobe Stock

We’ve all been there. Lost at sea and clueless as to how to get home. The survival food has run out. Your shipmate is an arsehole and worse still, there’s a gigantic presence looming ahead that’s shaped like a sperm whale. How did this even happen? What…

--

--

--

We’re a Bad Influence because we INCITE change through inclusion, thought and creativity. We imagine a world where people can think critically, express themselves, and thumb their nose at the status quo, together.

Recommended from Medium

Don’t Do What Donny Trump Does (Part 2!)

How to save money from Infinite Energy Generator.

Drumpf Salutes Alamo Wall

Channel surfing

Trump Signs Historic Agreement To Host “Miss North Korea Beauty Pageant”

5 Card Poker Shots

2017-01-21_19-45-47_ILCE-6500_DSC09842

Who Said It: My Teenage Son Or Andrew Yang’s Dog Before He Gave It Away?

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Reuben Salsa

Reuben Salsa

DON’T FOLLOW ME. Send help to thebadinfluencenation@gmail.com

More from Medium

Dear Universe, I Want a Refund for This Shitty Year

Now Wanted for Tax Evasion & Questioning by Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs — the Car Park…

When Things Are Looking Grim, Spend Time With People Who Make You Laugh

Does It Seem Like God Gives a Crap?