Am I Dating my Bigger Brother?
Someone, please slap me.
Of course, I am not dating my brother.
But sometimes I have the feeling a time slot has kicked me back into my 16 years old self, and I’m dealing with my brother instead of my partner.
I grew up in a family of firefighters. Which in my case means very dark humour, a lot of filthy words, and the urge to protect. My brother and I basically grew up in the fire station. We spend numerous weekends there because my mother wanted to make sure we see my dad as much as possible since he had to work many 24h shifts. We had cake and coffee in the common room with the firefighters and then head off to play on the premises. Hence I was never a princess but a tomboy, playing hide and seek between the water hoses that hung up to dry.
Today I wonder if my past has sneakily got me a partner that does exactly the same thing as my brother did. But my boyfriend is not a firefighter.
So what happened here?
Let me give you an example. When I have an argument with my partner, the moment he knows I’m right, and he loses ground, he turns around pulls down his pants, so that his butt is exposed, and walks away pulling his shirt up intentionally. I can’t help but laugh at this moment. I’m never insulted by this. I know he has surrendered, and second of all, my brother did precisely the same thing when I was a teenager and proved him wrong.
Another thing my partner and my brother have in common is the fascination with their toilet sessions.
Up to now, my brother loves to phone me when sitting on the toilet. And of course, telling me all about his outcome. Same with BAE. He enters the room and declares he did the most giant poop ever. This happens basically with every toilet session he takes. So I always wisecrack that by now he must have broken the ceramic. But behold, I’m informed about the colour, the consistency, and if the spicy salsa burned twice. Another match with my brother’s behaviour.
If you came this far with me, then you are ready to meet the lord of the winds.
My brother and my father had no issue with farting, in fact, it was some kind of a father-son battle. At some point, my brother took the lead. So I’m not going to surprise you that my partner is on the same page with them.
Farting is a big thing. So important, that he comes into the kitchen to make sure I have heard him farting in the bedroom. I have to give a word of approval or at least show some reaction to his flatulence. Because not reacting is not an option. My boyfriend takes the farting business seriously. So does his friends. And never has been the recording feature of whats app being misused than in this group of guys.
There are more recorded farts in this group chat than in any sound effects library online.
Now hear me out. The similarity between my brother and my partner is striking. And sometimes freaks me out. So there must be a different link that explains this shared behavior. I think it has something to do with accepting your partner the way he is. And the more he feels home with you, the more he will be himself and love you for this. My brother never cared if I accept him the way he is. He loved me with his brotherly heart, and so did I. None of us demanded the other to change.
This value I took unknowingly into my relationship. Accepting my partner in his extraordinary ways made our bond so much stronger. It made living together easy and not a place where we have to hide some sides of us from each other. We can be ourselves, no matter what. We have created a home for each other — a place where no one judges.
So let there be winds and hairy butts.
*shrug
