After beating Donald Trump in the November election, the Democratic challenger Joe Biden is supposed to become the United States of America’s new President this winter. But not everyone is happy about it! Shortly after the votes were counted, some Americans started talking about moving to Canada.
While we, Canadians, love our American brothers, sisters and non-binary individuals, we would like to urge you to stay where you are and NOT relocate to Canada. Stay home! After all, we’re in the pandemic, and the borders are closed.
Why would we like you to stay in the USA, you may ask? Well, because almost everything Joe Biden stands for and the Democratic Party has been trying to achieve has already been completed in Canada. Let’s go through it one by one!
Biden wants to give you accessible healthcare instead of making Americans pay exorbitant amounts of money for something that should be free — or at least reasonably priced. Guess what? Canada has free medical care. It was implemented in 1968, and every Canadian has equal opportunities when it comes to medical attention. It doesn’t matter if you’re homeless or an upper-middle-class individual — you will stand in the same line at the same hospital.
Scary, right? A socialistic health system that offered the entire country free medical services! But it works well for us. We don’t get to pay $20,000 for a broken leg or $700 for a napkin. If a Canadian ends up at a hospital and has to pay more than $10 in medical bills, it’s customary to complain about that $10 fee to the hospital management.
So, if you don’t believe in Biden’s bid to improve the American health system — please don’t move to Canada. We have been enjoying the fruits of social democracy for many decades.
Joe Biden announced he would be joining the Paris Climate Agreement, despite Donald Trump’s decision to pull out. Horrendous, eh? Not really.
Canada is taking numerous steps to improve its environmental situation and conserve natural resources. Do you like driving your car? Well, once you cross the border to Canada, you will be greeted by higher gas prices. Why is gas more expensive, you might ask? Well, our Liberal — as in Democratic — the government is steadily increasing taxes on gas to encourage the switch to hybrid and electric cars.
The foreseen gas tax is 22 cents per litter. It’s a lot, eh? Oh, sorry! It’s 83 cents per gallon. Sit down and calculate how much extra you’d pay every time you fill up the tank. And then figure out how much more you’d be paying monthly, and what about yearly? By the way, Canada is a part of the Paris Climate Agreement. Our government might change, but our position won’t.
Canadians had a blast back in 2015 when same-sex marriages were legalized — congratulations again, by the way — and some Americans promised to move to Canada. Guess what? We legalized the right to love whoever we wanted in 2006. And we are still slightly bitter that Netherlands and Belgium beat us to it.
We even have churches that were blessing same-sex civil unions long before the government pushed the law through. Simply because Canada believes love is love.
Abortion Laws: Pro-Choice
How dare Biden be pro-choice, eh? Here’s a fun fact: Canadians majorly support him in that regard. Pierre Trudeau, the father of the current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, made an amendment to the criminal code prohibiting abortions in 1967. In 1988, the laws preventing women from abortions were ruled unconstitutional — and the rest is history.
Moreover, Canada isn’t only pro-choice, but it’s the “leading country” when it comes to women’s reproductive rights. Canada has absolutely no criminal law related to abortions and such performed at any stage of pregnancy. Who’s paying for it, you may ask? The healthcare program fully covers the procedure. Yes, it means that everyone paying taxes is also paying for abortions.
I paid my taxes last year — it means I paid for someone’s abortion. I’ll be paying them again next year — there we go, more abortions. To be fair, those taxes also go towards prenatal services, childcare and many-many other social programs… Social programs — as in they exist due to social democracy. It’s that thing Biden wants for the United States, and you are so afraid of.
So, please don’t move to Canada. Remember: your taxes will pay for abortions.
Joe Biden vowed to end the ban from seven Muslim countries that Trump implemented, and he’s also planning to reinstate the DACA program.
If there is one thing Canada is known worldwide for, it’s the country’s pro-immigration culture. We accept immigrants, we love immigrants, and we depend on immigrants. Canada isn’t trying to build walls or complain about immigrants taking their jobs because immigrants often create jobs.
Over 1 million Canadians are Muslim. Considering that Canada only has 37 million people, Muslims represent nearly 3% of the country’s ethnicity. In cities like Toronto, the Muslim population is significant: 424,900 people, which equals 7.2%.
We love our immigrants. You go outside, and sometimes two-thirds of the people around you are immigrants. You get on the subway and see 20 different ethnicities in the carriage. Immigration is Canada’s middle name.
Dear Americans, please stay home. The President who couldn’t contain the pandemic and caused millions of people to suffer or even die will be gone. You’ll have a better one now.
You don’t have to be a democrat to support Joe Biden. It would be best if you saw what he could do and celebrate the departure of Mr. Orange.
With lots of love and maple syrup, Canadians.