F**k Your Open Letter. I Jerk Stiff Baguettes.
Would this be classed as an open letter?
A jerking baguette fiddler. A handful of crust filled with creamed magic. Make it stiff so one can fully grasp the length and magnitude of my baguette. Five hands mark the horse's length. I jerk my baguette in your general direction you open letter writing motherfucker.