“Gen Z Hates Remote Work” Writes 30 Year-Old Boomer

Let me take a selfie with the filing cabinet

It seems like every day, another ̶c̶a̶p̶i̶t̶a̶l̶i̶s̶t̶ ̶D̶e̶m̶o̶g̶o̶r̶g̶o̶n̶ company announces that they’re going remote-first or even fully remote. And while there are plenty of employees who are thrilled about the prospect of never having to commute to hell or wear real pants again, there’s one group that isn’t so happy about it: Generation Z.

That’s right, the much-maligned generation that’s always accused of being lazy and entitled is “Actually the group that’s most likely to want to return to the office once the pandemic is over,” a trusted 30 year-old boomer purports.

Why? Well, for one thing, Gen Zers are used to being in close quarters with their peers. They’re used to working in team settings and collaborating on TikTok to overthrow capitalism with K-Pop Fancams. #Relatable!

Going remote suddenly cuts them off from that social interaction, which can be a big challenge because op-ed writers like me assume everyone younger than me is a literal toddler with cheese for brains.

But it’s not just about the social aspect. Gen Zers also value structure and routine. They like knowing what’s expected of them and when things are going to happen. For Gen Z, remote work can often feel like a free-for-all, with no set schedule or expectations. Just like life. Sad!

So, if your company is planning to go remote-first or even fully remote, don’t forget about the Gen Zers in your workforce. They might just surprise you with how much you want them to return to the office to justify your corporate rental agreement.

This short satirical piece was originally written for The DiPierro, a very serious site run by yours truly: https://thedipierro.com/gen-z-hates-remote-work/

K. Leigh is an ex-freelancer, full-time author, and weirdo artist. Read their lgbt+ sci-fi books, connect on Twitter, visit their site, or send them an email if you’d like to work together. 🌈 🏳️‍⚧️