How I Earned Under $100 Dollars Blogging Last Month
Spoiler Alert: It’s easier than you think!
You’re like me. As a writer, creative, and content mastermind, you want your work to reach the masses and inspire their asses off. Great news! This is the place you can learn how I did just that and still earned less than $100 dollars writing on the internet last month.
I don’t have any fancy graphs or screengrabs to document the rise and fall of these hundreds of pennies I’m claiming to have earned, but you can trust me. I’m an internet author, after all. We can’t just publish at will and make any random correlation appear as causality, you know.
Step One
While mindlessly scrolling Instagram, become inspired by a stranger’s caption. If they can garner 238 likes from a pithy half-thought, surely you can send a fully fleshed-out article into the world and gain accolades galore! Start a draft on Google Docs while waiting in line at the post office.*
*Note: Yes, you will need to go to the post office for this step to work, so I recommend becoming a bit distracted first and writing a nice letter to an old friend from high school. This will give you a very good reason to follow through and arrive in person at the post office. Not like that small book you promised to mail to your sister four months ago, sitting on the table by the door. Useless.
Step Two
Now that you’re about to the front of the line, be sure not to distract yourself with the overpriced but smartly placed Hallmark Cards in line. Your letter is just fine without a $7 “Thinking of You” presentation. Focus on your draft!
Of course, when it is your turn to purchase postage and mail your letter, quickly stuff your cellphone into your pocket. Make decent but quick small talk, writer. You have work to finish! And since it’s the post office, no need to bother with talk of the weather. The indoor postal workers don’t have walkabout freedom and fresh air like the highly coveted mail carriers. Best not to remind them.
Step Three
Drive home feeling pretty damn good about yourself and how excited your old pal will be to receive a handwritten missive. Be warned; you may find yourself inspired again and drawn to a latte. Thoughts of old friends always remind you of coffee dates. It would be just fine to detour to a shop for a quick mid-morning brew and scone. Local shops only, please, as you are a writer. You have a reputation to uphold.
Step Four
Consider the next few concepts for your draft while waiting for your hot, wet cappuccino. Hopefully, you realized the latte was a bit too “soccer mom.” This drink will double as excellent imagery for your Instagram feed and your very own pithy, inspired post to promote the article anyway.
Step Five
Become distracted from writing on your draft while scanning the ‘gram for a highly praised coffee shop image to mimic. Presentation matters! Upon posting, be sure to finish your fair-trade espresso and get back to work, writer! That draft isn’t going to write itself!
Step Six
Open your Google Doc and… shoot, what was the point of this article, again? You know what, just save this as a draft for another time. You should write about how to promote your work via Instagram and Pinstagram and Twittstagram instead because obviously, writer… you are killing the game! You’re going to come in under $100 this month with ease. Well done.
Mandy Capehart is a small business owner, editor, certified grief and life coach, and creator of The Restorative Grief Project. The Restorative Grief Project is an online community focusing on one another’s stories and new methodologies for grief, creating a safe environment for our souls to heal and our spirits to be revived. To learn more, visit www.MandyCapehart.com/grief or follow along with weekly columns on Ask A Grief Coach! She thinks she is pretty funny. The jury is out.
