100/50 Words

My Future Self Is Silent, But My Past Self Won’t Shut The Hell Up

Thrifty Words Roundup 100 Words #84 and 50 Words #105: Silence

Melissa R. Mendelson
The Bad Influence
Published in
3 min readNov 5, 2022
Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

“What do you mean that you don’t sing anymore? You love to sing. You wanted to be a singer, but you’re a writer? I like writing, but no, we were going to become a singer. We did those Lip Syncs in High School and sang in the Coffee House at school. We were going to sing not write. How could you do that to me, to us?”

I looked over at my future self, who remained silent. Lips pressed tight. Gaze averted. Lost in thought, or was she listening? But she wasn’t saying anything.

“And I’m still living at home. I thought we were going to run away and make it big, and I’m working as a secretary? What kind of life is that? If you didn’t stop singing, we could have been famous right now.”

My future self laughed. The first sign of life. And a smile. She still didn’t say anything.

“Are you happy,” I asked my future self.

“I’m not happy. I’m miserable. So much fucked up shit. Did that get any better?”

“No,” I said to my past self. “Still plenty of fucked up shit.”

My future self frowned, then sighed. She looked at me and then at my past self. She wanted to say something, but she was being careful, choosing the right words to say. Maybe, she was afraid of changing something, or maybe, she didn’t want something to happen.

“Do better,” and she was gone back to the future.

“Do better,” my past self mocked her. “I’m singing. Can you hear me? I Am Singing. I don’t know what happened in college to change your mind, but I am singing. La La La,” and off she went. Good riddance.

Too bad the past can’t be as quiet as the future.

The above was inspired by the following TED Talk:




Melissa R. Mendelson
The Bad Influence

Horror, Science-Fiction and Dystopian Author. Poet.