STORY 1 OF NINE, OR MAYBE OF EIGHTY-1, OR 6,561?
Russian Nesting Dolls. Not Dolls: These are Stories Stemming from my Fertile Imagination
I can’t help it, and since I was delayed by local electric power and internet failures, my 3 stories became 9. I gotta get them down before my fecund imagination makes me go bunny-rabbit on us all!
Okay, maybe it is a lot like Russian nesting dolls. In this case, my case, German dolls. Not that I’m a doll.
Here’s the deal. It’s probably not widely understood, but in the Northeastern and Southeastern United States, we Germans came in droves. I was born in Toledo Ohio and lived in what must have been a largely German conclave. (How would I have known otherwise? My parents didn’t talk about — they didn’t talk about anything I can remember.) Maybe their failure to talk about racism was a good thing. I think so. But maybe they didn’t even know. They both were of German extraction.
Let’s not get into the possible philosophy of a bunch of Krauts. I know we were popular and welcome for our industriousness, mechanical abilities, and smarts. I never thought about superior races, because it wasn’t until I was 8 that we moved to California where there really were ‘races.’
By then I’d never considered, and yet never have considered one ‘race’ more competent or intelligent than another. They seem to have different skin colors and features, but I’m colorblind and can never figure out anybody’s predecessors. Well, some Asians have folds in their eyes, but so do other folks. Actually now I have a lot of folds in my old age.
Black Americans give me a lot of shit when I claim to not be racist — but should I lie to placate them? Doesn’t sound like me, honestly. I’m not racist. Is that a new concept on your black and white planet? I fucking went to university and got straight A’s and definitely learned that WE ALL CAME FROM AFRICA.
We’re all black, but we northern Europeans are lacking the pigments. Some stupid Vitamin D issue or something. No melanin to speak of. But hey, I do have some patches of skin cancer!!!! So it’s not all bad… okay?
I’d be happy to trash Germans, especially the evil Mass Murdering NAZIs that the CIA imported into the U.S. with altered histories so that they could get us to the Moon and put nukes up there. No . . . . . . that is not a conspiracy theory. It’s this thing called a “conspiracy.” Apollo was a nuclear weapons project. Oops… maybe that’s still a “secret.”
Whaaat? You think the government never lies? Fine, go bomb Baghdad again.
Or put nukes on the moon and light them up. We almost did, just for the light show.
Are you getting an idea of how my mind works? Yeah, this is why one story turns into 3 or 9. It’s just like rabbits or humans breeding.
Oops! Slip of the tongue. Or something slipped, that’s for sure. (population overshoot… oh damn!) You guys need to stay zipped up for a decade or two. Or your wives do… but better you: it’s easier to find the parts to button down.
You guys are all morons, just so you know how much I respect you.
Not so much.
Well to un-confuse you I’d best flash two of my sources. I’ve known many of these backstories most of my life, and I’m glad the search engines haven’t labeled them “fringe stories.”
Here’s the scariest person — but hell, he helped get us to the Moon (thanks, CIA):
Thank you Medium readers, writers, and editors. I really think this series will turn into about 9 articles, at least 3 of which will be of some value.
… Fred Ermlich
