Unpopular Opinion. Food is the Most Overrated Topic in the World.
Enough about that bad meal already!
Remember this. If you are fretting about a bad meal, you are a certified arsehole. There are no two ways about it.
The last time I complained, I immediately realized that it makes me the dumbest, arrogant-est, and the stupidest creature in the world. I felt the stupidity of those words as they came out of my mouth. Tasted worse than the meal.
The way the world is right now, your next meal is probably not even 4 hours away. After that again within hours, the next meal happens, and then the next, and then the next, and then the next. Until the day you die.
UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE. Now go fret.
An uncanny amount of time goes into planning, organizing, shopping for, preparing for, and cooking meals. In an ideal world, all meal-making should be outsourced or sourced from inside a can, a box, or a cafeteria. Humans have better things to do. Like, write this article. Because later, I am going to a restaurant. Like all people should.
There is no reasonable explanation to invest that kind of time in your meals. It should become a lot cheaper, healthy, and trustworthy when everyone ditches kitchens. Why do homes even have kitchens anymore?
Life was different when the only thing to do was to produce food. You had to grow it, store it, keep it safe, cook it until you are sure it doesn't kill you. But today, tell me about when you chased that chicken down the beet farm before you earned your Caeser salad for the day? No? Didn’t happen? I didn't think so.
Unless you are filthy rich, you are going to be thinking about your next meal for the rest of your life. I do not know how this thought does not give a reasonable human being an existential crisis.
Finding love has a challenge to it and an incredibly sweet reward. Finding a home has an artistic and financial spin to it. Work, kids, art, skill — every other biological predisposition that humans are committed to just by existing, has some mental challenge to it and a pot of gold at the end. But food? It literally leaves nothing but a pot of crap at the end.
Books after books of recipes. Aisles of exotic groceries you have never heard of. Lines at the cash counter scales to measure, calories to count, the new avocado fad, no no, it's keto now. How was the meal? We still have to deal with the leftovers! Too much salt? And tomorrow, it starts all over again.
Enough of all of this.
Give me some tablets, some vitamins, something that fuels me enough to keep going, and one good meal in a week that I didn't have to cook. That is all the acknowledgment food deserves. We have conquered food as people. Let us behave that way.
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