The Bad Influence
Published in

The Bad Influence

This is an email from BEHAVING BADLY, a newsletter by The Bad Influence.

Welcome To The Fucking Purge

Photo by Tito Texidor III on Unsplash

It’s supposed to be 31 Days of Horror before Halloween, but it seems like we didn’t get that memo. The days of Horror were early, maybe even starting on January 6th with costumed monsters storming the streets, raiding the Capitol. It’s been downhill since with horrific stories of crime pouring out from the cities like Manhattan, and no one feels safe with werewolves, vampires and gremlins, even critters (rats) out in the daylight, wreaking havoc. And there are no repercussions. Feel free to Purge, and people are with even the simplest things. You can’t even say, “Excuse me,” without battling a shrieking siren, who might be off her meds, if she was on them to begin with, and we really need those sunglasses from “They Live” to know who is friend and who is foe. But the lines are too blurred now, and nobody can be trusted because all we have are lies. If anyone dares to speak different, tell the truth, their tongues might be cut out, or worse, they’ll be burned at the stake. Halloween is here now, and the Headless Horseman has taken many heads but left the bodies to roam, ripping and shredding into those still possessed with common sense. It’s time to seal ourselves in like they did on the nights of the Purge, or it’s time to chew bubblegum and kick some ass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp_K8prLfso

Does anyone smell bacon? It used to be such a sweet aroma, one of my favorites, but it’s gone nuked, corrupted by the microwave. And I should have been smart about how I want my bacon, but I wanted it now. Damn it, I did not want to wait, and I’m eating it, even if it’s hot and burnt. And now I’m going crazy with this horrible aftertaste.

https://medium.com/the-bad-influence/the-crackling-promise-8080e9eaee70

And everyone is dressing up as the same thing. They’re too afraid to be something different, but instead of the regular asshole, we now have the opinionated asshole. It’s a new trend that probably started here in America and then went global, and no one is waiting for Halloween. And no one wants the candy. They just want to play tricks on you, bait you to do something stupid, to give them an excuse to play out whatever fantasy is lodged in their heads. And you are an unwilling participant of that, and you have to hope that the cameras are not rolling. And you have to hope that the person fucking with you isn’t bent on taking your life because nobody seems to think twice about murder. If you die, they still win, and worse case scenario, they play the get out of jail card, the insanity plea. Sadly, it still works, but guess what? You might run around, thinking you have everyone fooled, but someone’s got your number. And her name’s Karma.

https://medium.com/the-bad-influence/we-have-a-global-problem-with-opinionated-assholes-2995642d8518

You know what? For Halloween, I am going to dress up as…. Keanu Reeves. I already have the dark hair and eyes, and I’ve been told multiple times that I am so calm. Personally, I’ve been a cat jumping out of my own skin lately. Everything just makes me want to hiss and bring out the claws, but no, not for Halloween. I am fucking Keanu Reeves, calm as shit, wise as the Dalai Lama and Bruce Lee. “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever bounces off me sticks to you.”

https://medium.com/the-bad-influence/sticks-stones-no-broken-bones-e594dc0351db

You’re the man, Keanu. Just ask those on The Bad Influence vying to be your Top Writer. If only we could be like you, and not like this guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NriOZ6ofj_Q

Or maybe, everyone should just chill the fuck out like Edward Anderson.

--

--

--

We’re a Bad Influence because we INCITE change through inclusion, thought and creativity. We imagine a world where people can think critically, express themselves, and thumb their nose at the status quo, together.

Recommended from Medium

What Is A Reasonable Life Expectancy…?

This Morning’s Halloween Nightmare

The story behind the name!

You ever say “ShitShit!”?

OxGord Double Pet Stroller For Cats, Dogs and Other Household Animals

How to build a simple, modern style bench

The End of Thao Dien

Board Game Update

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Melissa R. Mendelson

Melissa R. Mendelson

Horror, Science-Fiction and Dystopian Short Story Author and Poet.

More from Medium

Lying Leprechauns

I clicked on clickbait and it took over my life.

San Francisco Cats