What Happened With Ali Wong’s Marriage?

Did she cheat?

Did you hear about Ali Wong’s split with Justin Hakuta?

Their eight year marriage imploding.

In her most recent Netflix special, Don Wong, she makes several jokes about their marriage and how she’s envious of single people as she “too, was once free” but “like an idiot, I asked this dude to ask me to go to prison. And now I’m in monogamy jail, and I don’t know how to get out.”

Who thinks it’s because of cheating?

“Monogamy made sense until we lived to 40 years old. Yeah, I’m 39 right now…and if you had told me I had to live this shit for another year, I’d be like, yeah, I can rub it out…it’s fine. No big deal. As an Asian woman, I’m gonna live until I’m 95 years old…it’s too late.”

She explained that she’d turn into an old Asian lady who walks stooped over with a perennial down jacket on. She hypothesized that her husband would die at 85, and she’d be free for ten years at 75.

“I want to fuck other people now before I metamorphize into a nut sack with a visor.”

She made me laugh so hard.

I think about that, too, of course.

When can I be free?

In my case, I’m taking advantage of a release clause that my hubby has never signed. “Pretend freedom,” I call it.