Would I Have Aborted The Baby?
Glad I dodged that bullet.
I will never forget my conversation with the gynecologist in 2019. It was during that time when I had to decide if I was going to have a baby or not. I met with her to discuss my options, and the gynecologist said, “If you do this, then you will need to be monitored.”
“Right,” I said. “I’ll have checkup appointments.”
“No. You’re not understanding me,” my gynecologist said. “This would be a high-risk pregnancy especially with your heart condition, and you will need to be monitored.”
“How often?” I asked.
“All The Time.”
Now, at this time, I had just received a promotion at work, and I wanted the job to work out. Little did I know what was waiting around the bend, but at this moment, I was worried about losing the promotion. I didn’t have the time to run to doctors and be monitored, and yes, this played a part in my decision in the end.
“Who do I follow up with?” I asked.
“Me,” my gynecologist said. “Or your cardiologist.”
I looked over at my mother. She gave me a nod. I turned back to my gynecologist. She was serious.
“Do you understand me?” My gynecologist asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I understand you.”
I often wonder especially now with everything going on with abortion and women’s health, what would I have done if I had decided to become pregnant? What if there was an issue? What if I had to choose, my baby or me? Sometimes, I think that I would choose the baby, and other times, I would think that I wouldn’t. I would hate myself for that, and I hate myself already for some things that I have done. I am grateful that I was never in this situation.
But what if all this were happening right now? What if old, white men made my decision for me? You can’t abort the baby. You die? You die, and they won’t care if the baby lives or not. They just want to be in control of you. They’re on a supreme power trip right now, and I’m hearing, seeing stories of women in high-risk pregnancies, women that have to abort the baby to save their own lives. But do these men care? No. They. Don’t.
Who the fuck do they think they are, and have you heard about Project 2025? This would affect me. This would affect you. This would affect Everything. In 2019, I was fortunate, but now? Now is a very different story, and if Trump wins, you will suffer. You could die.
It really scares me that we have not progressed. We Are Regressing. We need to stop this train before it derails, and it is already sliding off the tracks. It’s ridiculous that our health, our lives do not rest in our own hands.
Thank you for reading my writing.
You can find more of my writing here: www.melissamendelson.com
