Fantasy football Forfeits

Fantasy Forfeits are as old as the game itself. Forfeits can be thought by a maniacal league GM or by a league wide brain trust.

What are forfeits given for?

Could be anything that league wants.

• Obvious one — Losing the league
• Allowing yourself to be trade raped
• Not fielding a full line up
• Not setting your keepers for next season
• Missing the draft
• Drafting a player everyone else knows is Injured
• Or even Drafting a player who is retired

You get the point. The link between most of these is the person who’s given the forfeit has already had some misfortune.

“Haven’t they suffered enough?”

HELL NO. Fantasy football is about winning and someone who can’t do that should have a level of punishment so they know not to do it again. It’s cutthroat.

Every league has their own rules and ways of punishment. Not everyone has to be extreme as the tattoo league. But if that’s what makes your league tick, then go for it.

The usual place for a forfeit to take place is near the draft the year after. Our one this year was quite tame, last year’s loser was the “Bottle Bitch” (Corey Anderson) who had to get beers for everyone and serve food. I was pushing for something else but the guys never went for it.

THE PUNISHMENTS

Losing the league

Literally anything. From bottle bitch for a night to a tattoo for life. Anything goes.

Allowing yourself to be trade r****.

This one shouldn’t have too extreme a punishment, only a fair bit of ridicule should cover it. And it’s allowed to be brought up every year after.

Not fielding a full line up

If you don’t have enough time to set your line up, fantasy football doesn’t have time for you. If your league is more serious the accused should either do something for the person he was playing against that week. Or complete a request for the person he disrespected by not starting a full team. No excuses.

Not setting your keepers for next season

If you’re in a keeper league and you aren’t setting them then what the fuck are you even doing. I’ve not been part of a keeper league but I get the point of setting your keepers. You’re only wasting everyone else’s time and I feel there should be a suitable punishment. Start with a decent level of abuse sent to them. Then they should write a suitable personalised apology letter to every member in the league explaining that they are not worthy of the prestigious league they are part of.

Missing the draft

Since the end of last season you should be planning on next seasons draft, leaving a whole month free in the run up to it. There better be a hell of a good reason to miss it and don’t bother even come up with the excuse that the commissioner ruined it. Just because you forgot your draft date and agreed to go to your Aunts birthday or the birth of first child. Your league Commissioner isn’t looking for excuses, he’s looking for solutions. You better come up with one or live in agony with your auto drafted team. That’s punishment enough because you’ll likely lose your league and incur further repercussions, after that you won’t miss it again.

Drafting Injured/Retired players

There’s two levels of drafting injured players. There’s draft and stash which is smart. Take a stud with a later pick and stash him in your IR until he comes back, just in time for a playoff push.

On the other hand there’s the guy who took Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin last season in consecutive rounds. Not realising their ACLs were in shreds. That’s bad but at least they’re still technically in the playing part of their career. Not y’know out of a job. A guy I know was querying why Peyton Manning had dropped so far in the draft this year. Public ridicule for these latter two offences. Wear a dunce cap in next years draft for either doing it or asking without realising. What do they do with their lives, speak to people about stuff that isn’t sports related!? Hahaha how absurd.

Personal favourites.

• Eat a whole tea bag
• Eat a whole bag of sugar free gummy bears. Google it.
• Streak
• Write a letter explaining that you are useless at sports and hand deliver it to at least 50 people
• A t-shirt designed by the winner that the loser has to wear any time he’s with anyone else from the league
• The losers phone and email address is allowed to be used whenever a website asks for contact details and the tick the box “Would you like to receive updates and/or our newsletter”
• A very feminine piece of jewellery that has to be worn if it’s a guy (Vice versa if it’s a girl)
• Go out to the shops in a dress
• Go to the supermarket and all they’re allowed to buy is the biggest cucumber they can find, condoms and lube/Vaseline and perhaps a Gwen Stefani album. They have to go to the busiest queue in the shop and not say a word.

Hope you all have a great season and can avoid the majority of what I have discussed here. If you have any punishments different from what I have mentioned here please tweet to @b4ndw4gon or visit our facebook page The Bandwagon.