Sure I’ll dogsit! What could go wrong?
You know when you think, “I’ve got this” and then less than halfway through you realize, “Maybe I don’t, got this!”
What could go wrong dog sitting a Bernese Mountain Dog and a Portuguese Water Dog? I’ll only be gone for an hour!
She’s here. In rolls Paulette’s red Jeep and out pops Beethoven. He’s so big and beautiful. Humans don’t get me this excited. I can’t wait to hang out. The last time I dog sat it felt like I had a human sized teddy bear on the couch next to me. His fur is so soft and plentiful. The world disappears in his thick black coat. What’s dinner? Who needs to eat when a big gorgeous Bernese is keeping my company?
Tonight is going to be a little different. It’s the first time I’ll be leaving them alone. Paulette and I think it’s going to be fine. I have football practice and I’m hitching a ride with Diego.
“Hello Beethoven, how are you big fella?”
He’s all smiles with his slubbery mouth. His slow gait gives the effect of a lion in the wilderness. His steps are slow and deliberate as he saunters towards me. I have been ruminating that if he were a human, Beethoven would be a bowling shirt wearing, old school gentleman sort of fella. He gives off that very chill suave Pink Panther from the 80’s vibe.
“Donut! No!” I shout.
She has zero chill. There’s no explanation for this friendship, they’re so opposite. She’s so hyper, boisterous and bossy. I’ve had people describe her as an alpha female. She is. She’s not the typical girl who follows the rules. She’s a more happy go lucky type. She engages with people and dogs as friends in waiting. She’s an endless source of laughter and entertainment. Right now in this moment though, I’m not laughing. She’s so beside herself she’s hanging onto Beethoven’s ear and dragging him into the house.
Paulette and I look up at each other like synced robots. What the hell is happening? To Beethoven’s credit he gives her a stern correction and they proceed to the house on more agreeable terms.
“He’s so good with her. I don’t know how he does it. He just calms her right down. Amazing!” I throw my hands in the air and shake my head.
“Oh they’re the same at my house. She’s a proper pistol, I love watching them.”
“You and me both, although the last time Beethoven was here, he just sort of found a corner and chilled and she went and snuggled up on him. So cute!”
“He’s so chill isn’t he! Send me pics or call me if you need me to rescue you. I’m going downtown with a friend. She’s in town for a few days and we’re going to grab some grub.”
“Enjoy yourself, these two will be just fine. We always have a blast together. I’ll try to capture any funny ones if I can, but you know, when they see you with the phone, the magic stops!”
“Exactly, as soon as I pick up my phone to get them they stop. Ok lady, catch you later! I’ll be back around nine.” Paulette hops in her Jeep and she’s gone.
With that I walk inside and there they are playing tug. One end of the red giraffe is in Beethoven’s mouth and Donut has the other. All I hear is
“Grrrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrr!”
I let them settle into their play and see that it’s quarter to five. Diego will be here soon. I walk over to the mahogany desk and pull out the doggy cam I bought last year but never use. For this occasion I feel it could come in handy.
To keep both dogs safe I dog proof the house. I close off the kitchen. Remove all the reachable food, put a blanket over the couch for good measure and Voila! Now that the house is prepped I take down the treats and place them strategically around the living room. I believe that giving them this scent task will keep them occupied and out of trouble. As I’m putting the treats down I notice I have some followers.
“Ooops, I forgot to tell you to sit. Ok!” I raise my left hand and give the signal to sit followed by the word “Sit!”
Both my mates promptly place there bottoms down and flash me an endearing smile. They’re panting with their tongues at the tip of their mouths. In hindsight, I realize, they weren’t smiling but laughing under their breath like naughty plotting children hatching a plan.
Feeling proud of my efforts to keep them occupied. I walk over to the desk and set up the camera. Both dogs are still sitting nicely. It’s so wonderful to feel like you’ve got things under control.
“Beep!” Diego’s here.
I kiss each snout as they sit patiently waiting to be released. When I grab my bag and stand at the door I set them free with, “Ok!”
I check my phone to make sure the camera is working and all seems fine.
“Hey Diego, what’s up man?”
“Hey Tamia what’s going on! You ready for some drills today. I think we have endurance conditioning?”
“Oh my gosh, can I just throw up right now!”
“Not in my car you can’t!”
We laugh together as we roll out the driveway. Approaching the top of the street I look down at my phone. Beethoven has his two front paws up on the breakfast bar. In one swift move he pulls down a bottle of pills wrapped up in a mailing envelope and begins to shred.
“Oh my gosh! Beethoven no!”
I press the intercom feature to send my voice to the camera. He’s so engrossed in shredding he doesn’t even flinch at the sound of my voice. At the same time Donut walks past the camera sniffing for treats unperturbed by our new house guest, Shredder!
By this time I’ve apologized to Diego and asked him to turn the car around and filled him in on Beethoven. For some reason he finds this funny and says “I don’t think this is a good idea!”
We pull up and I run inside and do a swift clean up. I don’t rebuke Beethoven because it’s of course my error. It’s difficult to pinpoint when I forgot or why I forgot to close the kitchen off but I did. Standing in front of the kitchen I scan the room and don’t see any red flags. Had I turned around I would have seen the gate open but I was focused in front of me. I had removed everything from the breakfast bar and with that clear I couldn’t foreshadow anything else going wrong. I glance at the time and see it’s five after five. We can still get to practice on time.
“Ok all set. Everything should be good now! Let’s go, we can still make it on time.” I exhale and flash a smile.
“Alright, here we go! Second time’s the charm”
Diego decides to reverse course and I’m sure he’s thinking about shortcuts to save time. Two minutes in, I glance down at the phone again and this time none of the dogs are in camera view. I turn the head of the camera from my phone right to left. Nothing. I turn it extremely left towards the kit…chen…
The treats are all over the floor. Both dogs are ripping the bag to shreds and I haven’t a clue what else is happening.
“Holy fudge sticks Diego! I left the kitchen open, the dogs are ripping it apart! We have to go back! Oh-my-goodness! Oh my gosh!”
I press the intercom and yell, “Donut, stop that! Beethoven, OFF!”
I hustle out the car and tell Diego to go on without me. It’s clearly a better idea to miss practice and keep an eye on the dogs from home.
I open the door and Beethoven pokes his head out from behind the kitchen.
“What did you do mister?”
He cowers his head to the side and slowly does his lion stroll hesitantly in my direction being careful not to come too close.
“Have you been a naughty boy? What did you do in the kitchen, huh?”
He makes the most adorable “I’m sorry” face which I melt for instantaneously. Now it’s time to assess the damage. I call Donut over and she’s less sorry. In fact she’s sort of giving off a bit of, “That’s what you get for leaving us alone!” I shake my head and go to check out the kitchen.
There’s hand towels, paper towels, empty treat bags shredded everywhere. It’s not that bad but only because they didn’t get into any danger. I turn around and they’re both standing at the kitchen entry looking to see my reaction.
I wag my finger shaking my head, “What a bunch of rascals you two are! Unbelievable.”
I toss my bags to the floor and walk over the couch and sit. This time they don’t follow. They looking at me keeping their distance. When I can’t stand keeping them in suspense anymore I go, “Up!”
Within seconds I have the pair under my arms and I’m getting a double doggy facial from both sides. Their sloppy joe kisses soak my face and my arms and just like that I’m smiling from ear to ear.
They’re terrible but who wouldn’t want to have this kind of awful.
“You’re such a good boy Beeti, You’re such a good girl Nut Nut! kisses, kisses, kisses!”
