Feeling Some Kind of Way
A Pandemic Reflection
When I first heard about Covid I really didn’t think anything of it. I just had surgery in February of 2020 and recovered rather quickly. I went to go visit my friends at Chaffey College in Chino and they told me that they might have to shut down. Again, I didn’t think anything of it. That is until I got word that all Chaffey College campuses had to shut down. I was glad I took the semester off to take care of my health problems. But still bummed out that I had to take the semester off, if that makes sense?
When I was ready to go back to Chaffey everything was online at this point. The classes during the summer semester are accelerated because the semester is only about 6 weeks. I thought I could handle the workload but it proved to be too much for me. I thought to myself, “I can’t do it!” At that point I really wished for in-person classes would resume. But that wasn’t the case.
The governor announced that the cases and the number of fatalities were getting worse. I thought to myself, “This is flipping great!” When it came time for school again I decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to work on my major since everything was still being taught online. I have to admit that the first few weeks of the semester I was say to myself, “What the hell am I doing?” and “I can’t do this shit!” As time went on I got the hang of it. Yeah, it caused me to withdraw from a class. But, I managed to ace the other class. I was so proud of myself. I’m taking 2 classes this term and I am kicking ass in both of them.
I have Spina Bifida which is an underlying condition and I actually got Covid over the holidays and nothing severe happened to me.
Yes, of course I miss communicating with people face-to-face than through a Zoom call. But this Covid pandemic has saved me from having to go all the way to Rancho Cucamonga on the bus. Getting back to communicating with people face-to-face; that’s what I miss the most out of everything. Even most of my medical appointments are through Zoom. I loathe that part. I mean, how are they suppose to diagnose or monitor me through a damn Zoom call? There are doctors that will see me in person but I have to wear a mask.
I mean, I’m going to be 38 soon and I want to do my own thing. I want to move out on my own which I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now because of Covid.
Things are starting to get better but I still refrain from going anywhere. My parents go out to dinner almost every Friday night and I don’t tag along. My parents get together with relatives often and I don’t even go to family functions. They always ask for me, which is nice that they do. But I can’t be tagging along with my parents forever. I mean, I’m going to be 38 soon and I want to do my own thing. I want to move out on my own which I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now because of Covid. I feel trapped because of this pandemic but I know I’m doing it to myself. I don’t go anywhere unless I really have to, and that sucks because I’m used to being out in my community. I would go to the movie theatre to go watch a movie, go out to lunch and even go workout at the gym by myself. I was an active person before Covid. When someone sees me after not seeing me for so long they always tell me that they were wondering what happened to me. As I mentioned earlier I was really into working out and church and I was going regularly up until I had surgery in the beginning of 2020. Gyms are now open but at a limited capacity. I’m thinking about cancelling my membership and just workout at home. I have some workout equipment at home that I can use.
I know this is probably going to piss off a lot of people. But I happen to think that Covid and this pandemic is exaggerated. Our government and media are trying to scare people so they can just stay at home and not go anywhere.
I have Spina Bifida which is an underlying condition and I actually got Covid over the holidays and nothing severe happened to me. I only had a fever for a few days and my taste buds were off. I guess I’m asymptomatic. Everybody in my house got Covid over the holidays as well and the only ones that got it worse were my brother and my dad. My mom experienced the same symptoms as I did. I’m not the only one in my household that think Covid is exaggerated. My mom is right there with me, and as far as the vaccine goes, we will not be getting either one until it has been proven more effective. We are not going to get something just because the government says it’s good for us.
My brother is for the vaccine and is trying to convince us to get it. He is trying to convince me to get the vaccine because of my underlying condition. But no, I’m fine being at home even if I’m bored out of my mind most of the time. When I’m not busy writing for school or listening to a zoom call with my class I’m either listening to music or playing my guitar. I’m listening to Soundgarden as I type this to drown out the sound of the leaf blower outside. Music motivates me to write just about everything that I’ve written. It also keeps me sane. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t listen to music. I don’t watch TV; I find out what’s going on in the world through social media. But, my dad happens to have the TV on and channel 7 news is talk about Covid and the way they use language I feel makes people scared. I’m fine with not going anywhere.
I miss my “ME” time. I really don’t get that at home because I have my younger brother who is doing online schooling as well and my mother is working from home.
I have my music to motivate me to write and workout in the comfort of my own home. I’ve gotten the hang of online learning which I feel works in my favor. I hope they continue with online classes because after I graduate from Chaffey College I am going to transfer to Cal State Fullerton and I don’t want to travel over there if I don’t have to. The only part I miss about life before Covid is socializing with my friends and other people in person. I must admit that I miss being able to go places like the movie theatre or to lunch by myself. I miss my “ME” time. I really don’t get that at home because I have my younger brother who is doing online schooling as well and my mother is working from home. So I don’t have the privacy that I used to during the day. Covid really hasn’t effected me in the way that it has many other people. The only thing that it has affected is my social life and the fact that I have less privacy during the day with my mother and brother being home.
