almostchill wants to talk with you, lean into your discomfort, and make you laugh
BY CHERY SUTJAHJO
This story was originally published in the October 26, 2018 issue of The Slant, a weekly newsletter featuring Asian American news, media and culture. Want more stories like this one? Subscribe for free.
Geraldine Mae “Gigi” Cueva and Kieryn Wang don’t think they’re overachievers. In fact, they point to this overachiever stereotype and poke fun at it, and reflecting on their experiences around not meeting this expectation and how it influenced their journeys, eventually bringing them both into the cannabis industry.
While they may not claim the word, the duo has to have some hustle and drive to brainstorm, record, and produce their podcast “almostchill.” The first season is a miniseries of five episodes, each just shy of an hour.
Listening to almostchill is like sitting in a living room with a few of your Asian American friends, recounting the weird and/or offensive shit that you run into on the day to day. Their podcast spans the gamut of topics — cultural appropriation, shit white people are saying, and how to make it as an Asian business woman.
There’s a familiarity in the conversations Cueva and Wang have that make the podcast an easy entry point for listeners. And there’s a familiarity between Cueva and Wang themselves, bouncing ideas off one another and moving the conversation forward in a lighthearted way that still asks the serious questions.
I chatted with Cueva and Wang about the work that went into their podcast, their exploration of their own identities, and what they hope for almostchill.
On their beginnings
GC: The company [Kieryn] worked at resonated with me, and they were looking for an intern. I pursued it and I remember having a FaceTime with her [she] understood me in a different way, and I felt really comfortable being myself and projecting some of my ideas I felt really aligned with [hers]. I honestly looked up to Kieryn, and the fact that she was also Asian, I wanted to know her and cultivate that relationship even from afar. We eventually met at events, so that’s how it was for me.
KW: We eventually met up in Seattle, and had a conversation where we were smoking weed and laughing our asses off and we looked at each other and Gigi was like, “I think we should do a podcast!” And I was like “yeah, I think we could do a podcast.” A month and a half later we released.
On growing up and understanding their identities
KW: I grew up in the very white suburbs of Seattle and I didn’t realize it when I was growing up. By the time I went to college I had assimilated a little too far for my taste personally. I realized there are so many aspects of myself that I had forgotten or suppressed. When I got to school was when I started to think ok — who am I? Who do I want to be and represent myself as?
Through that process and connecting with the fact I am Chinese American, I began really embracing that a little bit more. [Part of] it was seeing other Asians embracing their Asianness that really jump started something in me that said, “you don’t have to assimilate so far to be accepted.” That really resonated with me, and now I’m very much proud of my Asian heritage, and not trying to be like white people, which I very much was growing up.
GC: I grew up with other Filipinos, but ironically, I wasn’t accepted by the Filipino children [in my community]. I never really understood why and that left a sour taste in my mouth, but I knew innately that I felt connected to my Filipino heritage and culture.
[After college] I started to embrace what I call this “west coast Asian girl mentality” where Asian women were always with each other and they were really proud of their identity and being in these circles. So I started embracing it. I had a close circle of friends whom I met at work and most of them were white, and it wasn’t until I saw the differences in our culture that I began to be more comfortable being who I am.
I felt this unique side of me was the most important part of what I wanted to express. I feel like every time I’ve gone against the grain there was a little bit of resistance, but why not embrace every bit of me?
On stereotypes
GC: The interesting thing is when we were going through it and talking about it there were elements where even I was uncomfortable, just realizing we were putting it out there. It takes courage and bravery to be owning and explaining that these are the stereotypes that have been projected onto us. And we need to call them out.
We did it with humor. Everything feels a bit better with humor, everything is a bit more digestible. When we avoid bringing it up or we’re in this holding tank it’s truly out of fear. The more that we bring light to things then the easier that conversations can be.
KW: I’m a pretty confrontational person but I do recognize that there are moments where humor is gonna get through to a person a lot more easily than calling them out. Hopefully the humor is presented in a way that will still be taken seriously. I don’t want to always encourage humor because I don’t want it to be treated as a joke, stereotypes are serious and can be harmful in many ways. But sometimes there are cases where you break through and start with humor so that hopefully it can be a productive, serious conversation with takeaways. Takeaways are the biggest thing.
On leaning into discomfort
GC: Someone had told me years ago, just be comfortable with the uncomfortable. And I had this excitement about the unknown of engaging in this conversation with Kieryn. Leaning into it was really important for me, as was having the courage to take it out into the world. It made me feel more connected with who I am because I felt that it was something I wanted to support going out. This is what we deal with and I wanted to embrace that uncomfortable side of it.
KW: Having a co-host was really helpful because for me those conversations weren’t uncomfortable in the aspect of having a conversation or saying it out loud. The discomfort for me was in putting out that intensity into the world beyond my Instagram stories and community. That complementary aspect of having both of us was encouraging for us to meet each other in the middle.
GC: That was the best part of the podcast for me, knowing that it was uncomfortable and that she supported me through this narrative we created. And even when we finished it and felt nervous about it, after listening to the first edit I was like you know what, this is exactly —
KW: We said what we needed to say.
GC: Exactly. And I felt empowered by it. It felt good that I engaged in a conversation with her that made me understand how I felt.
On what’s next
KW: I think each of those episodes we could go on for ages about.
GC: Every episode could have sub-episodes, I think we could even have mini season of episodes 3 and 4. One thing I really loved was by the time we got to episode 5 it was clear we had a chemistry on the podcast, and then bringing in another Asian woman made me understand how important it is to, while we’re amplifying our own voices, to create a space to give another woman the same thing. There was a way that Kieryn interviewed [our guest] and the questions that she brought to the table that could be replicated for other women. It would be amazing to keep exploring who these women are and what they’re doing in the world.
KW: We haven’t had a chance to talk about season 2 in depth, but we did want to bring in more people who want to be a part of this, just because there’s a nice dynamic when it comes to bringing in another woman of color and empowering her to also share her story. I definitely want a whole season with guests, but in the meantime we’ll be brainstorming what we want season 2 to look like. And if you have suggestions we want people to tell us!
About Geraldine Mae Cueva:
Born in Brooklyn and raised in Jersey, Gigi is the product of two first generation Filipino immigrants. After dropping out of nursing school to pursue fashion, Gigi built a career doing exactly what no one told her to do, ultimately landing her in the cannabis industry, where she met Kieryn. Today, Gigi resides on the west coast, building her non-agency agency committed to growing brands and reaching their communities. She’s almost angry but manages her chill with random dance breaks in between calls and stays hydrated at all times.
About Kieryn Wang:
Kieryn grew up in Seattle and went to school in Chicago. Upon returning to Seattle, she finally came to realize the whiteness that had (always) permeated the city. Kieryn has since started her own digital marketing consultancy as she continues to explore her city with fresh eyes. She is certainly the almost chill part of the equation, as you’ll soon discover while listening to the episodes.
almostchill is available for streaming on iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify. Contact almostchill via e-mail at almostchillcast@gmail.com.
