MILCK on breaking her silence and starting a movement
This interview was originally published in the April 13, 2018 issue of The Slant, an Asian American newsletter. Want more interviews, stories and news delivered to your inbox every Friday morning? Subscribe for free.
Connie K. Lim, who goes by the stage name MILCK, got her claim to fame at the 2017 Women’s March in Washington, D.C. Teaming up with 25 other women, who were complete strangers, MILCK delivered a powerful message through a capella flashmobs of her self-written song, “Quiet.” After an award-winning director captured the performance and nearly 14 million people across the globe saw it, MILCK’s life has never been quite the same. We caught up with her over the phone.
Natasha Chan: Yesterday (Sunday, April 7th), you had a fundraiser for “I Can’t Keep Quiet Day” — I’m curious how that went?
MILCK: Yes! Oh my gosh, it was such a special night. I woke up feeling so grateful because all of these artists that performed dedicated their time and brought their best performance. The audience was super present.
It was an interesting format. It was a fundraiser from 6–9 PM, and it was a standing room event. I was worried if people would be comfortable standing for that long, but it all turned out better than I could have imagined. So I am super grateful.
NC: That’s great — were you able to meet the goals that you had set out for yourself? Either in monetary value or just getting the word out about this movement of yours?
MILCK: My goal was to pack that room. We also set ticket prices at $20 and sold merchandise to help raise some money, but I have no idea what the numbers are — we just finalized everything yesterday, so we probably have to review that and see.
Overall, part of this “I Can’t Keep Quiet Fund” is not just to bring money towards these organizations but to also gain awareness. Between each performer we had representatives from each organization go up and talk about what they’re doing. There were tangible lists for people to sign up on and be active.
There is so much we can do to make this world a better place, and it can seem overwhelming, so it was just presenting, “hey — if this resounds with you, this is a cool way to get involved.” So for those reasons it was a success.
Also, for my team to put this event on with such great teamwork, and having different people work on their strengths and communicate well — it made the whole experience a good one for all those involved, from the audience to performers to the organizers. Everyone. I’m always looking out for that, not just what we did but how we did it. So I’m really happy with the event. And hopefully we’ll get to write a nice little check!
NC: That’s awesome. I’m excited to see what comes of it. So I’m curious, now that you’re becoming more famous and well known, do you feel like you’re being treated differently?
MILCK: There are definitely perks to doing something that brings in national or international interest. For example, I don’t have to carry my own gear all the time. I used to have to carry around my keyboard, set up in hotel lobbies, and I’d play for hours, and no one would listen. Now, I have a team, and we divvy up things so I can spend more time thinking about the bigger picture and what’s important. So there’s that which I’m so so grateful for.
I think there are some things that are obstacles, and I kind of like that they’re obstacles. For instance, being an Asian American performer in American culture, there are still hurdles that exist for us more so than others. I feel like I work well when I need to rise up against something, and it’s good for me to have this as a motivating thing to be like, “okay, I want to prove these people wrong.”
So there are still some things that are kind of similar, but man, the quality of people that I’m working with is higher because they’re less about results and more about the process. People are more grounded at this level. I’m working with people from Nettwerk Music and Atlantic, and there is just very little ego on this team.
When you’re an up-and-coming artist, you don’t really know what types of people and tools are healthy for you. On my journey upwards, I worked with some people who were kind of toxic for me. They were fear-based, ego-based, and scarcity-based. But my team now is just like, “we’re not going to make money on this one, but it’s important to us so let’s do it!”
NC: I think that’s really awesome, I mean the fact that your agents were willing to talk to us and got back to us immediately — I could tell you’ve got some good people backing you.
MILCK: Yay! That’s so good to hear. I’m glad. That’s what we want. You know, I was just opening for Jason Mraz, and it’s so crazy because I was literally just singing his cover in hotel lobbies just a year and a half ago, and now I’m opening for him. It was one of those moments where I was like, “life can be extraordinary if we let it.” I watched Jason and his team, and they were just so kind and thoughtful to make me — this little opener for him — be comfortable and feel appreciated. They went above and beyond, and I told myself this a really good model to strive to work after. I really liked that.
NC: Definitely. I wanted to go back to something that you just mentioned — about people that you’ve worked with in the past. So when I went to your performance in D.C., you told us a story of when you were visiting a city, and someone in the crowd screamed, “YEAH! CHINESE-AMERICANS!” I actually have a video of you asking us all to cheer for Chinese Americans so that you could send it to your mom.
MILCK: (laughs)
NC: I also read that in the past, someone who was interested in managing you said that he “didn’t know how to break a Chinese American artist into mainstream music” and recommended that you “go back to China.”
You know, obviously, as America is home to you and it’s all you’ve ever known, I can understand why you would insist on creating your art here. How do you feel about these labels and what have you done to break this mold?
MILCK: The labels are — (laughs) — things I don’t remember are there until someone else makes me remember them, and then I’m like “oh, right. I’m different. I forgot about that, because we’re actually not different, but we were just taught different things.”
And also, I think there is this carnal part of us that is on its way of evolving out. You know, when we were trying to protect ourselves in the wild, knowing appearance-wise, “this thing is different from me, let me protect myself from it.” Maybe we still have some of that in our society.
So I understand it. I just think there’s so much more to be gained from ignoring those tendencies in people — to be scared of something different than themselves. I think about what kind of progress we’ve made in society. I mean when I was in second grade, flipping through my sister’s magazines, there was no Asian person. If there was, it would be maybe 1 in 100, and she would be a completely exaggerated Asian. You know, super super slanty eyes, super skinny — just not what a lot of Asian women look like. And she was more like a decoration. Not a human.
So I think about how we have Fresh off the Boat as a show, we have comics like Ali Wong, who I am obsessed with, we have different actresses and actors, and people doing good. There is so much progress, and I think that comes from expanded storytelling. Because of the internet, we have access to new narratives. And lo and behold, people actually want to read these stories. They want to hear about these types of people. They don’t want to keep reading about the same type of person in mainstream media. So it’s encouraging.
I think I’m at a really lucky time, you know, where the revolution is happening now. Being a part of it is exciting. There is still a lot of progress to be made in the music industry, to be honest. There are a lot of Asian actors, and some of those roles I’m like, “okay, does he have to be an IT/tech person, again?”
There is a role from Judd Apatow’s “Love” with Bobby Lee, and his role, I think, breaks a lot of stereotypes. He is just so funny, and I love him. That’s encouraging. In music, we have Hayley Kiyoko, who’s a label breaker with Atlantic too, and she’s breaking so many stereotypes.
The list is very short. I think I’m done reading off the list now. (laughs) So I’m excited for this list to get longer.
I’ll go to colleges and speak to kids and sing and meet them after. A lot of Asian students will come up to me in tears and tell me, “I haven’t had a lot of time to think about what I really want for my life, and this is really helping me process it.” Or they’re like, “I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m already in the process of telling my parents, so I feel left alone.”
There are such specific things that breaking the labels can help address to help people. I think my job — I’m not one of those musicians who are like, “look at how cool I am, you have to buy all these things to look as cool as me,” I’m a service-based artist. All my songs, I want to use to serve people. Hopefully, more labels can be broken through that.
NC: Definitely, that’s great. So when you do have people come up to you in tears and say “I want to do what I love and I don’t know how to go about it” — what advice to give to help them break this mold? It seems like you’re referencing individuals who are in the stereotypical, “my parents want me to be a doctor, lawyer, whatever” situation, but just in general, if people want to break out of this “Asian stereotype” what do you even recommend that they do to start?
MILCK: There are a couple of things — there are the big picture things that I’ll share, and then the practical more everyday things. So big picture — how I see the world, others may see it differently, but I think the universe expresses itself through nature. When we go hiking and look at the mountains and the trees — it’s an incredible masterpiece. That’s the universe expressing itself in its purest form.
Humans, we’re part of nature. We often think we’re separate, but we’re part of it. We need to listen to those inner voices that are telling us — I remember having this voice when I was very young, and I remember running from it because I was like, “this is gonna piss my parents off.” (laughs) And that’s not the appropriate thing to do. I tried to suppress it, but that voice is always there. Then I started listening to it, and it was scary. To make that choice was the scariest thing, and it was the hardest thing.
There were many more reasons to not pursue this journey than to not pursue it. I think the universe expresses itself through these inner voices that we have and if we don’t follow them, we’re actually doing the whole universe a disservice. We’re doing the whole thing a disservice. But if we follow them, we’re helping the whole thing be expressed. We’re just part of a mosaic — I might just be part of that little red tile that is part of a bigger bigger picture, and it would just be sad if that picture were a little less red than it could have been. So that’s the big picture and why I encourage people to follow these voices no matter how scary it is.
Practicing intuition and listening can be hard because there is so much noise going on. So many stimulants, so much social media. So I encourage people to have some space with themselves at least once a week. Spend an hour going to a bookstore exploring, and do it alone so you can have time to hear your inner voice. Man, I can’t tell you how many people don’t stop to think, “what do I really want? What does 5 years look like ideally for me?” A lot of people don’t think they deserve to take that time off, but they should.
NC: Going back to labels, in all of the articles I’ve read about you, they’re constantly linking you to being Chinese American, or they talk about your success from the Women’s March. As you progress in your career, I’m sure you’d like to evolve as an artist.
MILK: (laughs) Yes!
NC: If you had a choice as to how you would be referred to, you know, “Connie Lim, MILCK, the ____ artist,” how would you like that sentence to end?
MILCK: I would say, “the iconic, prolific artist.” I want to make so much good music. The Women’s March is such a gift, it’s changed my life. I want to create such a mountain of good music and good work, so that is just one part of my story and not the entire story. And same with “Chinese American,” but with Chinese American — I am so proud of it.
I used to shy away from it, and I used to think, “well, I’m not going to talk about being Chinese American because I just want to be a musician, and then people will also see that I’m Asian and then this will be the subtle way of making changes.” And I think that will come, but at this time, I am trying to take opportunities to celebrate it and also share the thought process behind it instead of avoiding it.
Because it’s there — I’m a first-generation Chinese-American immigrant, and it bleeds through my song lyrics. I make sure those song lyrics are available to everyone, but there is a specific narrative, especially with the new music I’ll be releasing later this year or early next year. I have some songs that are tailored for a child who has gone through such a difficult relationship with their parents because they just grew up in different worlds, but it’s also masked, so anyone — maybe they’re not immigrants or they just have a different story — can still relate to it.
That’s what I want to do. Bridge building and conversation starting. I want to help that other young Chinese or whatever race, she or he, feel a little less alone. It’s also for people who don’t get it to listen and be like, “oh. That’s a cool perspective.” Just understanding — to create empathy through these song lyrics. So I think that’s what I’d want: prolific songwriter and performer.
NC: We’ll be sure to refer to you as that when we publish this article. “Prolific. Songwriter.”
MILCK: (laughs) Thank you! Yass.
NC: Talking about some of your songs — when I went to your performance in D.C., one of my favorite songs that you sang was called, I think, “My, My, My.” I noticed it wasn’t on your E.P. and I haven’t been able to find it anywhere on the internet, and I was curious why it hasn’t been released yet.
MILCK: Yeah, so that’s a new song that I just wrote, and I was testing it out. We’re actually going to release it as a new single in June, that’s the goal. So yeah, a couple of months!
NC: Perfect, since it was my favorite, I’ll be sure to look out for it!
MILCK: Oh cool!! That’s so cool to hear.
NC: One last question, it’s just a fun one, my friends and I have been debating about this, and I promised I would ask. In your song “Quiet” you mention a blue pill — what is that blue pill?
MILCK: You know, I like when people are able to interpret on their own — but for myself, I’m a big fan of the Matrix …
NC: Okay, that’s what I thought.
MILCK: (laughs) “I win.”
NC: Exactly.
MILCK: I also thought about it in different contexts, you know, anti-depressants or different things like that. I struggle with depression, and I’m actually on the journey of figuring out whether I want to go on anti-depressants right now. There are a lot of layers to it, but the main one is the Matrix.
Iconic, prolific songwriter MILCK was born in Los Angeles, California and is currently wrapping up a few tours opening for Amy Shark and Jason Mraz, as well as performing on college campuses across the U.S. You can also catch her at Summerfest in Madison, WI on June 29th alongside The Weeknd, Halsey, and Imagine Dragons. Her E.P, “This is Not the End” is out now — purchase the album here or have a listen on Spotify.
