What’s your Communication Strategy ?

I love attending training/ workshops and that is for variety of reasons . For one it provides a break from the daily routine . It also allows to socially interact with colleagues or coworkers with whom I would not necessarily get to interact with. And most importantly it’s an opportunity to learn a few new tricks or to see the same old stuff with a new perspective. Trainings are not only great for asking questions, ideas emanating during lunch breaks are also quite engaging.

In one such recent workshop on understanding cultural diversity, there was a generalized statement made by one of my colleagues about natives of specific country. As I didn’t agree to the comments my first response was direct and my instant reaction was that of confrontation. Well not to mention the conversation didn’t go down well, not at least the way I intended to, especially since the discussion was with a “Soft Target” however still a “Battle Hardened ” mate. While it left a bad taste in the end, it made me realize there can be a better strategy for sure when disagreeing with someone. So here is what I believe will work for you (& me) better in future :

1. The Mindset — We often tend to get caught up in the matters of subjectivity and often misunderstand our interpretation of the situation as reality. We consider our versions are the most Objective. It helps to realize that we all have our own versions of reality, that are usually created from our vantage point. This is not different for your nor your fellow-mate.
2. Finding the middle ground — First set the objective of building Consensus and not Confrontation. It is very important to condition your mind to believe that discussions are a method of engaging other people and not necessarily to display intelligence and that is often misunderstood as arrogance.
3. Empathy — Empathize with the point of view. It often happens that we validate ideas based on who gave the idea .Question the assumptions to understand better. Don’t assume and ask investigating questions.
4. Switch Style — We all have our preconceived notions and when they are mixed with our partial observations, experiences and emotions, things often get complicated. Reversing the scenario and making the person think from the Other person is challenging . The best to deal in this scenario, is to Switch the question around and asking what do you think the opinion of Other person would be of you/ of situation.
5. Tell Stories — Explain your position with the help of a historical example, that is relevant to the discussion. While logic is the most potent tool when you are pitted against an intellectual, however often its emotions that over-run, hence logic may not always rule the roost. Well in that case you can resort to what most (wo)men of wisdom resort to. The power of Storytelling .

Originally published at www.sarfarazmulla.com on October 5, 2014.