A phone call he’ll never forget

“I feel like I should have stepped up. I feel like, in the long run, it probably could have saved his life,” Jaryd Brady said while reminiscing on his high school best friend, Nick Marshall.

Nick committed suicide in the summer of 2015. He was 18 years old.

Jaryd described Nick as “a stud.” He was tall with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and an athletic build. “He was always happy,” Jaryd said. The two met while playing lacrosse and quickly became best friends.

Nick and Jaryd spent a lot of time together playing lacrosse, going to the beach, working out and partying. After spending some time at Nick’s house, Jaryd noticed tension between Nick and his parents.

“Whenever we would leave his house, we would just go. He wouldn’t say bye to his parents,” Jaryd said, “I knew something was wrong with his parents, but it wasn’t my place to talk about it.”

Jaryd also noticed that Nick’s parents weren’t around often.

“I never brought it up because it never really affected him that much, at that time,” Jaryd said.

It wasn’t until after sophomore year when things started taking a turn for the worse. His whole personality changed. “He just progressively got quieter,” Jaryd said, “It [his quiet days] went from once a month to once a week to a couple times a week, he just gradually got worse.”

Sometimes when Jaryd went over to Nick’s house, Nick’s dad would be passed out on the couch with a beer in his hand, and Nick’s mom would show signs of drug abuse like agitation and tweaking. After seeing this multiple times, Jaryd concluded that Nick’s parents abused alcohol and drugs. Soon after this realization, Jaryd pieced together that Nick’s parents were physically and emotionally abusive.

On nights when the abuse got bad, Nick would go to Jaryd for help. “There were times he would call me and say ‘yo, my family’s crazy, can you get me out?’ and I would be on my way to go pick him up,” Jaryd said. “That’s when we would just tell each other we’re getting out. We’re leaving. We’d have these conversations until like three in the morning on the beach.”

The two boys talked a lot about college. Jaryd hoped to go to Florida Gulf Coast University, and Nick wanted to go to the University of Central Florida. Both were accepted into their dream schools and would constantly talk about their plans for the future. They desperately wanted to leave home, especially Nick.

“We couldn’t stop thinking about college,” Jaryd said, “It was his escape. He was going to get out of his house, get away from his parents.”

Even though he received enough financial aid and scholarships to pay for his schooling, Nick’s parents were not in favor of him leaving. “His family was trying to drag him and keep him here,” Jaryd said.

As senior year progressed, the abuse became noticeably worse. “Whenever we would go shoot lacrosse, we would change into our gear. You could see it [bruises] on his chest and on his stomach. You could see it on his wrists a lot. You could see these grab marks. And on his back. His back was just all black and blue, it was disgusting,” Jaryd said. Jaryd wanted to involve the police, but Nick would beg him not to say anything.

Nick began to withdraw from activities he usually enjoyed. He quit playing lacrosse and going out with friends. He became quiet and reclusive. He was a completely different person from the smiley teenager Jaryd met a few years back.

When graduation day finally came, everything seemed okay again. Nick’s parents did not attend the graduation ceremony, but Jaryd saw the old Nick come out again that day. “He was vibrant. He was back to that same person he used to be,” Jaryd said. He remembered Nick’s huge smile as he walked across the stage. In just a couple of months, they would be in college. Nick would finally be out of his parent’s house, away from the torture of his family.

The two boys spent some time together over summer, but being out of school meant more time at home for Nick. He had no escape.

On July 27, 2015, Nick called Jaryd. “He called me at 11:30 that night and was like ‘yo’… He was crying, you could hear it in his voice,” Jaryd said. “I was like ‘what’s up man, what are you doing?’ and he said ‘nah man. Stop trying. It’s okay.’ I was like ‘no it’s not. What are you saying?’ I told him to come over, sleep over at my place tonight. We’ll just go get wasted and pass out on the beach, do something fun. He said, ‘nah it’s all good, don’t worry about it. You’re a saint for doing what you did. You were the only family that I ever had.’”

It was only a 15-minute drive to Nick’s house, but Jaryd had a feeling that he wouldn’t make it there in time. He told Nick to just wait for him to get there. “nah man, it’s over. But one thing man… Don’t be afraid,” Nick said. Suddenly, Jaryd heard a gunshot, then he heard Nick’s body hit the floor.

“I never got to go to his funeral. His fuckin’ family wouldn’t let me in,” Jaryd said, “They blamed me for trying to take him away.”

One of Jaryd’s biggest regrets in life is not telling authorities about what Nick was going through at home. He wishes that he could have saved his friend, and carries a lot of emotional weight because of it. Despite being told hundreds of times that Nick’s death was not his fault, he still sometimes blames himself.

“Even if he was standing right next to him, he might not have been able to stop it,” professor Diane Cox said. Cox teaches a course on death and dying at Florida Gulf Coast University.

“A gun is the biggest statement in suicide,” Cox said. “With an overdose, there’s a chance that they could live or be saved by someone finding them, but a gun is a final decision.”

“I guess everything happens for a reason,” Jaryd said, “I guess that happened to me because I guess I could take it. I guess I could go and learn and spread his message. Spread my experience. You know these things happen, but you don’t know why they happen.”