Becoming: The book that’s written only for you
There are very few books that you resonate with more and more as you read them, and Becoming is one of them. Let’s be honest, if you’re one of the most popular First Ladies of the United States, it’s always easy to write a preachy, glorifying book about everything that you did right. What’s difficult is to tell your story the way it is and inspire every reader to be the best version of themselves. It’s even more difficult to inspire every reader in a different way — from little girls who are poorer than the rest of their friends, to teens who are working hard towards building a career, to working women, working wives, and working mothers who care just as passionately about their children as they do for their careers.
Michelle Obama’s simple but powerful words are an inspiration not just for women of colour across the globe, but for every person who is struggling to make a difference in the lives of people around them.
Michelle’s early life
She starts off by talking about her childhood — her time spent in a tiny apartment in South Side, Chicago. Her bond with her parents as they struggle with her father’s illness, and her bond with her brother Craig. She talks about how close-knit her family was, but above all, she talks about her mother’s constant dedication to herself and Craig. From standing up for Michelle when they had an incompetent teacher in the second grade, to ensuring that she always had something to eat when she got back from school, to motivating her when her school counsellor told her that she wasn’t “Princeton material” — Marian Shields Robinson might be a stay at home mom, but her fierce dedication to her children’s education inspires every teen to be more dedicated to their education and career.
College days
She then goes on to talk about her life at Princeton and then Harvard — where she talks about strong women who mentored her and opened her up to face the world.
As I read through these pages, I think of the women in my life who have struggled to develop an identity for themselves. I know that all of these women will relate to Michelle’s life in some way or another, and I’m glad that all of us chose to walk a path that’s so different from traditional norms.
Working as a lawyer
While talking about her days as a star performing lawyer at a Chicago firm, Michelle talks about feeling isolated from her achievements and wondering about who she was meant to be. Through the glass walls of the firm, she could look down upon her city and look forward to becoming a partner at the firm, until one day when a young lawyer with an easy Hawaiian smile and a peculiar name walks into her office.
Her budding relationship with Barack was endearing to read. As she talks about admiring Barack for his selflessness and his determination to do good, you know that he’s changed her perspective to life, forever.
Facing Fears
In spite of this, she doesn’t lose her identity. She sticks to her reservations against politics and finds different ways to make a difference to the lives of minorities — from working in the mayor’s office to leading not for profit organisations to handling community relations at a hospital. As Barack moves away to pursue his political career, she talks about their struggles to have their first child. This is when she openly talks about a miscarriage and several IVF treatments. She didn’t talk about how she was always fighting — but she did speak about embracing her fears and confiding in her closest friends, trusting them to support her.
This courage to pen down her lowest moments, while being an extremely public figure is what makes me realise that every problem in your life can be as big or as small as you want it to be.
Relationships v/s Careers
As Barack’s political career gains momentum, Michelle and her daughters see him around much lesser. Her decision to keep her job and her girls in Chicago while he worked in Washington came from a place of strength and practicality. However, her loneliness and longing to see him more often increases. This is coupled with the fact that she was struggling to balance her career with parenting her daughters alone. She openly talks about couples counselling and how it helped them both make adjustments to very rational expectations.
As they worked through this phase, I was thinking about how any relationship, long distance or otherwise, takes a lot of work, adjustments, and commitments from both people. It’s important to listen to each other instead of just seeing things from one perspective. It can have difficult times, but that’s okay. It’s all worth it if you love each other at the other end of the storm.
Life as First Lady of the United States
As she writes about Barack’s big election win and the changes in their lives after he is sworn in, you can feel her humility. She talks about how First Ladies are usually expected to smile for the cameras and hold their husband’s hands. However, she had decided that she wouldn’t be just another pretty face. She harnesses the power that she has and uses it to launch initiatives around living healthy — from talking to school caterers about the importance of fresh, green food, to planting a White House garden as a symbol to healthier food at home.
It’s extremely difficult for a person to preserve their identity when they’re walking step for step with one of the most powerful men in the country. Somehow, at the end of eight years, she created her own identity by leaving a lasting mark on a country that isn’t used to seeing strong women in places of power.
Epilogue
Throughout the book, she also talks about personal attacks and death threats to her family. She talks about how her passion in her speeches and work were portrayed as anger and aggression; about people questioning whether she was a woman or not. She talks about her disgust for politics when tougher gun laws weren’t passed after the Sandy Hook school shooting and the pain she felt for victims of hurricane Katrina. At the same time, she talks about inspiring young girls across the globe, her daughter’s first prom, bonds that she made with people living in palaces and in tiny huts, and the love that she received from all her supporters.
She talks about hope, and a passion to create a better future. A journey that started in a small two-room apartment in a dwindling neighbourhood, has become a lot more over the years. It inspires you to go on a journey of your own, and begs the question — What are you becoming?
