Pop Rock: The Sing-Song Drama of Parenthood
The day I heard Dan Wilson, producer and brief leader of Semisonic, explain to an audience that “Closing Time” was not so much about a bar closing, but rather about awaiting the delivery of his daughter Coco, was the day “Closing Time” became massively more than mere ’90s one-hit wonder.
I’m a softy for songs about parenthood. It hardly matters whether it’s about crappy parents (see: “Father of Mine” by Everclear. “Piece by Piece” by Kelly Clarkson) or good ones (“Dear Mama” by Tupac or “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne). It hardly matters whether it’s from the p.o.v. of the child (“Papa was a Rolling Stone” by the Temptations) or the mom (“Baby Baby” by Amy Grant) or the dad (“Lullabye” by Billy Joel).
What matters is that, since long before puberty, the only thing in this life I absolutely knew I wanted to be as a grown-up was a father, so I’ve long sought songs exploring how that line of work is done well or poorly. Parenthood also makes for the best stories! Be it in The Bible or Shakespeare, in “LOST” or “Lost in Space,” the foibles and dysfunctions of parenting is the stuff of eternal drama!
“Come Alive” by Foo Fighters might be my all-time favorite parenting song, which is saying a lot. It celebrates the transformative power of becoming a parent even as we all know — or oughtta know — that there’s no more horrendous motive for having a child than expecting a screaming, eating, pooping melon-sized creature to magically cure what ails your life or relationships, especially if what ails you is the slow drowning of alcoholism and/or substance abuse.
(NOTE: If you need just one more reminder that babies can suck, check out the Yelp reviews!)
If the music of any given era is actually a case study in the culture and psychology of that era’s youth, perhaps it is also — by the law of tangents — a statement about an era’s parenting. Perhaps rock has begun to fade into the ether because rock was often about abandonment and anger, written by generations of youth whose parents were too busy, too cruel, too absent.
Today’s parents are generally more present. In fact, we’re generally too present. We’re around all the time, doing their homework, making their science projects, telling the rec league coach how to do a better job, staunchly defending our sweet angel from a teacher’s obviously unfounded allegations, falling asleep beside them in their own bed at 10 p.m. for the fourth time this week because they get too scared being alone… or even better, letting them stay up even later once again on a school night because they really really wanted to and you didn’t have the energy to say no.
The generation that raised my generation didn’t understand us because they weren’t with us most of the time. My generation doesn’t understand our kids because we’re around them all the time, but distracted or not paying quite the right kind of attention, prioritizing friendship and abdicating our responsibility and authority. I wonder if this altogether different kind of dysfunctional parenting will find its way into the music of the next generation.
MORE GREAT SONGS ABOUT PARENTING, FOR GOOD BUT MOSTLY ILL:
- Come Alive — Foo Fighters
- Closing Time — Semisonic
- Dear Mama — 2Pac
- Cat’s in the Cradle — Harry Chapin
- Father of Mine — Everclear
- Oh Daddy — Fleetwood Mac
- Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone — Temptations
- You Will Be in My Heart — Phil Collins
- Father, Son — Peter Gabriel
- Kind and Generous — Natalie Merchant
- The Living Years — Mike & the Mechanics
- Mother — Pink Floyd
YEAR: 2007
FOR YOUR PLAYLIST:
BONUS: The Sweet Charity Choir from the UK offers an unexpectedly moving surprise by using this song for a fundraiser and promotion for suicide prevention. (Which is awesome… but this song is still really about becoming a parent.)
It’s a stretch for sure, but part of me can’t help but wonder if Dave Grohl wrote this with a tinge of wishful thinking. Did Dave think about Kurt Cobain, how terribly unfortunate that something so astounding — the joy and burden of having his daughter — just isn’t enough to save everyone?
