A List of All My Abandoned Billfold Posts I Was Going to Write But Did Not

A lot of very bad ideas in here.

Photo: Pixabay

While noodling over what my final post on this very website would be, a few ideas sprung to mind. Like most ideas I have, they were half-baked, relatively self-indulgent and frankly, dumb. For the past eight months or so, my process here has been harried and a little slap-dash: because of my work schedule, I’d try to work ahead as far as I could, throwing ideas into an empty draft late at night while working the night shift and assessing in the morning whether or not they were of any value.

Part of the joy of writing for the Billfold is the freedom; that freedom is also terrifiying. Personal finance is personal, and I’d like to think that I got better at squashing my instinct to write 400 words about every errant thought about money that entered my brain. There were a few missteps, but as the wise Canadian songstress Alanis Morrisette once said: you live, you learn.

There were many ideas that I had that probably would’ve been fine and some that are at best, things you say in passing to someone you’re making small talk with at a party where you don’t know anyone. Here they are, from my heart to yours.

• I was going to write about this story from Toronto Life about a family that renovated a house over 5 years to the tune of $1.1 million and was aghast at not only the cost but the fact that they kicked out a bunch of squatters living in the house they bought, tried to “pimp out” their newborn daughter for modeling contracts in order to pay for the mounting costs of renovation, and generally complained about how much money they were spending while glossing over the fact that they owned a condo and, apparently, land in Mexico? Also, they made a series of very poor decisions in the journey to home ownership. Anyway, this felt like the universe putting a hand on my shoulder, leaning in close and saying “Megan, it’s okay to keep renting forever. This is your final answer. Bye.”

• A follow up to the story I wrote about my mother’s job search. Great news: she found a job! That’s the end of the story. She’s working now.
• At some point in this winter, I reached hygge overload and was moved to type the words “You Don’t Have to Spend a Lot of Money to be Hygge” which is a sentiment I still stand by. You don’t. Just wear more socks. Drink some tea. Light a candle. Don’t fall prey to the shoppable slideshows that tell you you need twenty-five other things in order to be hygge.
• Perhaps after my extremely insightful revelation about how being hygge doesn’t cost money, I was inspired to write one and a half sentences about how Super Bowl parties don’t have to cost an arm and a leg. As I reflect on this sentiment, I’d like to retract my statement: Super Bowl parties are expensive. Having people over to your house is expensive, even if they bring beer and Tostitos and that queso that comes in a jar.
• Something something disrupting laundry and how we certainly don’t need to do that, pegged very loosely to a story about a laundromat I loved in San Francisco being replaced by something that purported to do just that. Tangentially, a post about how much it costs people do to laundry.
• Any number of posts about working from home, including but not limited to: the songs I sing to my cat when I haven’t spoken out loud in hours; does taking a shower first thing in the morning affect productivity; best snacks; ways to procrastinate when all you feel like doing is lying down on the floor for like, one hour.
• Expanding on this questionable theme re: my cat, I’ve always wondered how much money she could earn if she were to be a working cat model. Meant to look into that for a post, but I feel okay that I never did.
• A list of things I won’t buy while on vacation; a deeply-researched look into getting a financial planner; a Q&A with a person who has a trust fund; something about having rich friends and the weird feeling you have when you benefit from their wealth (the use of their vacation homes, mostly).
• Not a post, but not not a post: The Wall Street Journal tried to latté lunch via this infographic in the middle of this article about how lunch is dead. Lunch isn’t dead. Or it is! Chalk it up to everything else you cherish dying.

Looking back over this list, I am glad that most of these did not see the light of day. It has been a wonderful time. So long, and thanks for all the fish.