Bernie Madoff Still Jerk

He bought all the Swiss Miss in prison and sold it at a profit.

Photo credit: m01229, CC BY 2.0.

Yesterday, MarketWatch interviewed Steve Fishman, journalist and host of the new Audible podcast Ponzi Supernova, about—you probably guessed it from the headline—Bernie Madoff.

And sure, maybe it’s worth spending a few podcast hours going into “how the undoubtedly guilty Madoff was essentially enabled by the system,” as MarketWatch puts it, but here’s the only fact you need to know about Bernie Madoff: he is still a jerk.

“Bernie really was a successful businessman with quite original insights into the market, and he’s continued applying his business instincts in prison,” Fishman said. “At one point, he cornered the hot chocolate market. He bought up every package of Swiss Miss from the commissary and sold it for a profit in the prison yard. He monopolized hot chocolate! He made it so that, if you wanted any, you had to go through Bernie.”

Gross, Bernie. Don’t be, like, the Martin Shkreli of prison.

I look forward to the part of the podcast that explains that Madoff only bought all the hot chocolate because the system enabled him to do it, not because he was a rich guy who saw a way to make himself richer.