DIY or BUY: Gnomes
Because Elf on the Shelf is creepy.
Some people think the recent interest in all things Scandinavian began with Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, while others wisely blame IKEA. Both are, alas, wrong. The craze for all things cold and socialist can be traced back to the late ’80s and the beloved Nick Jr. staple The World of David the Gnome. Ironically this Spanish TV children’s show, based on a book by a Dutch author, and dubbed by Canadians for American television actually had no Scandinavian involvement, but we all know where gnomes come from, and we have been looking for them in furniture stores and psychological thrillers ever since.
Turns out the gnomes weren’t in either of those places. They were at my local craft fair.
Known as tomten in Sweden and nisser in Denmark, these gnomes have evolved from a small-time house fairy into one of the major symbols of Christmas in Scandinavia, showing up on cards, as decorations, and in television shows as miniature variations on Santa. This year it seems the passion for Christmas gnomes in doll form has crossed the Atlantic because I spotted doll iterations of the gnome both in a crafting magazine and at four separate booths at a holiday fair last weekend. When I went online, I found them crawling all over Etsy as well.
I’m as susceptible to trendy things that maybe come to life at night and watch you sleep as the next person, so I seriously considered buying this cutie for $20 and giving it to my aunt’s niece (no, I don’t mean me).
Then I thought, how hard could it be to make one? Two bags of cotton balls and a bag of pinto beans from Dollar Tree, an old sock, a glue gun, some doll heads (for the nose), felt, and decorative jingle bells from Michaels, and the sleeve of a sweater I was going to give to Goodwill, and we’re in business.
Except what if you can’t find your glue gun? An experienced DIYer probably has a glue gun drawer labelled with a label maker kept in the drawer just above, but amateurs like you and me might just be borderline hoarders who don’t know where anything is ever, so a new glue gun is necessary. At some point many years from now we will be cleaning out our basements and discover somewhere in the neighborhood of fourteen glue guns, several dozen water-damaged Beanie Babies, and enough chapstick to keep the entire population of Nepal’s lips moist for a year. But let the events of 2027 come when they come.
It’s also possible you are exactly the opposite of a hoarder. Perhaps you, being an ardent fan of Scandinavian culture, went minimalist years ago not just in design but in all aspects of your lifestyle. As such, not only might you own very few things, but you also tend to toss socks as soon as they lose their mates and bring those old sweaters to Goodwill as soon as they stop giving you joy.
A lot of “ifs.” All I had/could find were the socks for the tomten bodies, so two Christmas gnomes set me back $20.27, two for the price of one professional one. Better yet, my version of the gnome has no hands to strangle you in your sleep, which I personally think makes him look cuter.
So DIY or BUY? Hold your horses. First, look under your bed, because that’s probably where your glue gun is. Also, talk to your grandma. She probably still has those hideous Christmas sweaters she made you wear when you were little, and those would be perfect for your gnomes. Now your price point is dropping down to the $10 range, which makes the tomten very affordable and easy to customize. You can, if you so choose, use a guide like this one or improv them together yourself.
All that’s left, ultimately, to make your decision is, seriously, how scared are you of these things? If not at all, definitely DIY. Make your own gnomes! How awesome is that?
If you’re a little bit scared (no judgment), still DIY. Just wait till early on the morning you plan on giving it away so you don’t have to sleep in the same house or apartment as these dolls that will some day be at the heart of a really good Swedish horror movie and/or your unsolved murder.
If you’re a lot scared, I commend you for reading this article through to the end anyway. You can look forward to next week’s piece you will have nothing because it’s my last article, and it’s about Christmas cookies. And there are exactly zero things frightening about Christmas cookies, right? Just never say “mincemeat” three times at midnight in front of a broken mirror, and you’ll be totally fine. Probably.
