If You Buy Your Wife a Mansion

The holiday season is upon us, and I know what some of you are thinking. “I’d love to buy my wife a house without asking her if she wants it.”

“But, Meaghan, I’m a woman, as are the majority of your readers.” Sssh, you sit this one out. Take the time to practice your ‘I’m not vexed this is just what my face looks like’ face.

Anyway, if you are a man married to a woman, a woman who I guess conveniently has no opinions and desires to give no input on where she spends her life, here is a gift guide for you, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal.

Faith Zelenko ’s husband, Cliff, called her at work one day to tell her there was something he wanted to show her. That night, he took her to a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. “Cliff opens the door and says, ‘This is your new home,’ ” recalled Ms. Zelenko. “I was, like, are you kidding me? You’re joking, right?”

Then, she burst into tears.

You might think Faith was crying because she realized in this moment that their relationship would never be equal, but no, she was happy. Because she got a house.

GOD HELP THE MAN who buys a house without asking me first. This is like buying a puppy to the nth power. As the WSJ points out, if you are going to buy a wife a house, maybe give it to her before the paperwork is done. Great idea. Or, as one of their consulted real estate agents advises, “Make sure it’s awesome.”