My Thoughts About Star Wars: Force For Change, In Order

1. Oh, I am absolutely donating to this.

2. How much do I have to donate to get the T-shirt?

3. Donating gets you entered into a raffle, and the winner gets an all-expense-paid trip to Skellig Michael in Ireland? This suddenly feels less about “doing good” and more about winning a contest.

4. WHATEVER, I’m not interested in standing on the same mountain as Mark Hamill, I can ignore that part and focus on using the Force to make change.

5. Obligatory “that’s not how the Force works.”

“There’s a double meaning in both the words FORCE and CHANGE!”

6. I should look up Force for Change. To see what my donation will actually do.

7. Oh hey, UNICEF! I trust you! I used to trick or treat for you when I was a kid!

8. “This year, Star Wars: Force for Change will benefit UNICEF Kid Power.” This sounds great. What’s UNICEF Kid Power?

Kids wear Kid Power Bands — the world’s first Wearable-for-Good — to measure their physical activity while they get active.
Activity and movement unlock Kid Power Points and the more kids move, the more points they earn.
Kid Power Points are converted to funding by partners, and funds are used by UNICEF to deliver lifesaving packets of therapeutic food to severely malnourished children.

9. So my money pays for Kid Power Bands, and then other kids have to move their bodies so malnourished children can get food?

10. And there’s a direct correlation between how much the kids move and how much food other children receive?

11. I know what part of Star Wars this reminds me of:

“You didn’t move enough! This child only gets ONE QUARTER PORTION.”

12. Now I’m not sure I want the T-shirt.

13. I get that on a general level movement is correlated with health, but I have a lot of questions about Kid Power Bands. Are kids going to get enough time during a busy school day to participate in physical activity? Is this really about movement, or is this also a fat-shaming thing? Are the bands adaptable to kids of various abilities, or are they only for able-bodied kids? Why do I gotta pay for the bands instead of just helping hungry kids get food?

14. Wait, I don’t have to donate to the Kid Power Band thing? My Force for Change donation can go to one of four organizations, including UNICEF, American Red Cross, Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and Make-a-Wish Foundation?

15. I’m back in. LET’S FORCE SOME CHANGE.

“See, FORCE actually has a triple meaning here.”

16. How much do I have to donate to get the T-shirt?