Things I Haven’t Bought That I Love.

What I’ve chosen to “save for later.”

Nothing works better for procrastinating or killing time or really anything than plumbing the depths of Amazon and shopping for things I think I need but probably don’t. For all the talk I do about buying things and the stress derived from those purchases, I don’t buy that much stuff. Everything I purchase is researched, thought out and debated; I will not buy shoes or a vacuum cleaner or a face wash I read about on a beauty blog unless I’ve spent at least an hour Googling user reviews. I like to know that I’m not being duped. I don’t want to return anything. I want to spend the money I’ve set out to spend, get the thing I want and move on with my day.

Amazon’s “Save for Later” section serves as a neat catalogue of my desires. I can tell immediately where I was at and what I was doing and why I was thinking about doing it from the way things are clustered. The spate of hand creams and face wash and Korean beauty products speaks to late nights perusing beauty blogs and dutifully opening tabs after zooming through a shopping list; five sweatshirts for $11 each and a new pair of leggings that I have yet to actually buy gestures towards my not-so-hidden desire to model my wardrobe after a particularly stylish toddler. I am nothing if not predictable and even more so by the things I want to buy, but haven’t just yet.

None of the things I’ve saved for later are particularly expensive or necessary — that’s why I haven’t bought them yet. The big purchases are ones that I make as easy as breathing; it’s the little ones that keep me up at night, wondering if I I’m frittering away my food budget on incense and bathrobes.

If this list were to be the last remaining artifact of my life when I died, I feel like it would be a pretty accurate representation.