Searching for a job…
As I scoured the internet, I find that I have less and less opportunities to make a living out of working in the internet.
The reasons usually involve not having enough money to invest. Not putting or not having the time to do it. Or the amount of effort seems to much for the current returns.
As you may have guessed. I’ve tried YouTube, I’ve tried writing on medium, I’ve tried writing my own book but everything I seem to do breaks down within a couple of days to hours.
This is where many will say that this is where the weak are separated from the strong. And I can see that.
On many of these jobs or tasks, It requires a massive amount of energy to get a good foot in. And If you don’t like doing the action everyday, you are less likely to do it again or even want to do it in the long term.
I usually feel this way because of the quality of writing or videos I’m making. and here is where many will say again that you improve over time.
I guess I’m just tired of it all. And I haven’t found a way to rest because every time I give up on something like this, I come up with another and try that, or maybe even go back to YouTube and try again, hoping that this time, I may be able to making something out of it.
But them there is the amount of people seeing you.
I don’t want to be famous. I just want to be able to do the things I want to do. Whether that involves ending my procrastination streak or getting a job to be able to do more of the stuff I wan to do.
The idea of meeting with someone else is just weird. And some of it may be due to the pandemic and how It has affected us at a mental level. I know I have.
But I can see that If I want to do anything with business weather online or IRL, I’d need to overcome this fear of people and interact with them in one way or another.
I’ve fallen into some traps, such aa a guarantee for money or fame, getting good at something, or even compulsive buying. These thing annoy me and as of recently, I’m trying to impede myself from doing any unnecessary purchases, as to hold on to the saving that I currently have.
Maybe taking on a freelance job may help. But what kind of skills do I have that someone will want?
I can barely draw, I can barely write. Heck, I can barely edit a video. But I guess I can give it try.