Member-only story
Dark Poetry
Awkward
TW: Childhood SA
Every time I enter a room full of people
I am that 12 year old all over again
awkward and clinging to walls
diverting my eyes or casting them to the floor
as though to say, don’t look at me
don’t see the hideous monster I’ve become
don’t see his fingerprints on my skin
or the smear across my lips from a forced kiss
Even now, though grown, I still feel dirty
still feel his hands and unwanted lips
still feel awkward that I cannot let it go
and that someone in the crowd will know
and then I may have to talk about it
or deny it or worse, relive it
if someone gets too close
or tries to come on to me
So I stay home and avoid social interactions
better to hide the monster
avoid the touches
and the forced kisses
better to be awkward alone
©2025 Lori Carlson. All rights reserved.