Dark Poetry

The Big Beautiful Betrayal

Reflections of a Disabled American

Description: Black background with a white lined image of an American Bald Eagle dragging an American Flag mid-air. Image made through Canva.

Unworthy of life
Let it suffer, let it die
Truly a burden

I just watched the final two republican votes come in on Trump’s so-called “Big Beautiful Bill”. I have a growing pain in the back of my head. It’s as if I could feel the smack of the GOP’s backhand against the collective of disabled people [amongst all other vulnerable groups] that they just left for dead. With this passage goes my life-saving medications [mood stabilizers and antidepressants], therapy, phone service, and food assistance. I am officially a total burden to the family that helps take care of me. And what’s worse is that I won’t have the meds or therapy to help me navigate this new reality. Let alone the reality of my existence prior.

Walls are closing in
Vision tunnels in despair
Let the darkness win

I have severe Bipolar Disorder II, CPTSD, Dissociation [depersonalization, derealization], Maladaptive Daydreaming, SI, and Fibromyalgia. I have been unable to work since 2019. I have tried applying for SSI. But as many disabled people know, it takes years even to be processed. I reached the point of the hearing last year, but didn’t have it in me to discuss my CSA/CR trauma with a judge. A judge who would more likely than not have been male. I have…