Have you ever Had a Dream that Didn’t Work Out? I’ve Been There
Disappointment is one of the lamest parts of life. Even when we put our minds through the worst-case scenario, we are never truly prepared for said disappointment that may come with it. It is never easy to come to terms with the fact that we worked our butts off for something that we did not get, regardless of the reason. Or that we may have been anticipating for something great just for life to come and snatch it from you. The one thing to remember is as bad as things may get, that is how much better they become. It may sound like toxic positivity, but it is true. I would know from one of my most personal experiences.
Soccer Squabble
As a kid, I loved to play soccer. There was a point in my life when I wanted to be an Olympic soccer player. I started playing soccer competitively when I was seven years old, and I immediately fell in love with it. I complain a lot about growing up in a small town, but one of the few fun things about growing up in a small town was that most people participated in multiple activities at once. In addition to playing soccer, I also ran track growing up. Though I did not like it as much as soccer, I still did it because I was good at it. I was probably much better at track than I was at soccer if I am being honest.
Flash forward to middle school, when I focused more on soccer than track. Sixth grade specifically was when I learned that the local high school had a junior varsity (JV) soccer team, and they started recruitment in the eighth grade. Making the JV team seemed like such a big deal where if you were good enough to play a high school sport as a middle schooler, you were considered cool. As someone who was bullied, I was adamant to do anything to be considered cool. From that moment on, I was determined to make that JV soccer team.
JV Was Cool, But I Wanted Varsity Now
My parents, however, would not let me participate in JV soccer out of the fear that I would react negatively if I got rejected. However, it turned out that the JV team was not even cutting people from the team that year, so I could have played JV soccer if I wanted to, but it was too late to join the team at that point. So I ended up running track that year, which I hated because it was not what I wanted.
Eventually, I made the JV team in ninth grade. The next goal was to make the varsity soccer team. After only making JV once again in tenth grade, I was more than determined to make the varsity team by 11th grade. At my high school, once you get to 11th grade, you cannot participate in JV, so I put in all of the work I could to make that stupid team. I went to pick-up games at a local university the entire summer between tenth and eleventh grade. I went to a $500 soccer camp, I even practiced with, and eventually joined a travel team 35 minutes away from me just so that I could practice playing with people who were already on the team.
But it Still Was Not Enough…
Despite all of my hard work, I was cut from the team. And to this day, I am still not sure why I was cut. It could have been because the coach had a bias towards my family, my soccer skills were genuinely not good enough, or perhaps it was even both of those factors. All I know is that being cut from that team put me in a deep depression. Here was something that I worked my hardest for, and I still did not get it. But anyone who has African parents knows that they are not just going to let you sit around and be depressed, no matter how much you want to be, so it was back to track and field.
I will not sit here and say that I loved the track so much like it changed my life because the truth is, I hated it. I hated how much pressure was always on me to do well, and I knew that if I had made the soccer team, I would not feel that way. However, I still did well enough to get medals, place in the top 3 in most meets, and set personal records (PRs). Still, none of that felt even remotely enough until a meet in May of 2017.
What Did I Learn from the May 2017 Track Meet?
The meet in question had taken place immediately after the varsity team’s practice, so the coach was still hanging around the premises. Thank God that this was the same meet I placed first in, with a new PR. However, that was not even the best part, because I secretly loathed that event. The best part was when they announced my name as first place, and the coach had to stand there listening to me announced as the winner. It did not matter that I did not even enjoy the event that I was doing. The man who I thought had power over me had to physically be there to see that I was doing great, despite his decision. This made me realize, that this dream that meant so much to me had very little impact on my future or my life.
From there, life started to improve greatly. I ended up getting a job offer as a soccer coach for a boys travel team approximately 6 months after all of that had happened. Funny enough, the coach I was telling you all about also coached a girls travel team, in the same travel league. So I basically ended up with the same job as someone who I thought had power over me, and I was only 17. I wish you all could see the look on his face when he saw me and realized that we were wearing the same coaching uniform. Even though I do not run track anymore, I ended up being able to use my story for my college admissions essay. I do not know how much of my letter helped with my college admissions, but given that I did not graduate with the best GPA, it is impressive to realize that I am now about to graduate from college and start graduate school at some point. I do not know exactly what happened to the coach after all of those events, but who cares?
This all happened five years ago, but the reason I still tell the story to this day is to remind people that sometimes we may have a dream or a goal, and it does not work out in the way we want it to. However, everything happens for a reason, and dreams always work out in the way that they need to. So as a piece of advice, do not give up on a dream if it does not work out, try to find another dream that may work out better. If you can not find another dream, it is important to remember that as bad as things get in life sometimes, that is how much better they get. As John Lennon once said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”
