Lessons Learned from a Week on Vacation
Like any other college student, spring break was a time that I was heavily anticipating. For me, the spring semester has always been the hardest. By this time of year, school is almost over, I am burnt out, have a ton of tasks to complete, and stressed to infinity. With all of this considered, I have always looked forward to breaks from school. However, this spring break was extra special because I was going to get to go to New Orleans. Now, this is not the first time I have gotten to go to New Orleans. I went on the same trip during my sophomore year of college. However, I was 19 when I went, and you can not do most things in New Orleans unless you are at least 21. Now that I had turned 21, I was very excited about this trip because it meant that I was finally allowed to do the things I could not do on the previous trip (like drink alcohol, lol).
However, the trip did not exactly go the way I had planned. Before I get into it, I would like to preface this by saying that I do not want to make this trip sound like the worst trip ever. I do not regret going, and if given the opportunity, I might go again. The food was the best food ever, the drinks were top-notch, and although we had the same activities as the previous trip, the activities were more fun this time around. However, If I am ever to go back to New Orleans, it will either be with my best friends, family, or even by myself.
The trip started the way I wanted to. Once I saw the roster, I immediately thought of who I was going to hang out with and what we were going to do when we had free time, and I was excited about that. But by the time we had landed in NOLA, this had proved not to be the case. Maybe it was all just my anxiety, but throughout the trip, the people who were friendly with me one day started acting weird the next. It was hurtful because some of these people were people who I thought were my friends, and for some reason, they were acting oddly towards me by the end of the trip. Now, this could all just have been my anxiety making me overthink, and it still could be. But, to make matters worse, I had eventually found out that some people were allegedly talking about whether or not I was having a good time on the trip, and nobody had ever asked me directly.
Now, this is not to play the whole “woe is me, nobody likes me” card, or to put anybody down. There are two sides to every story, and there may be a side to their story that I am not aware of. I was luckily able to befriend people who I had never really talked to before, and have productive conversations with people who I did not know all that well. Those moments were a nice refresher from all my internal anxiety. However, there is a point to this story. Sometimes in life, we throw ourselves in an environment expecting it to go a certain way, and it can be disappointing when that environment does not work out for us in the way that we had hoped. However, it is important to remember that it is not always your fault if that environment does not work out. It simply just means that you do not fit into that environment, and that is okay.
It can be easy to blame ourselves when the environment we are inserting ourselves in does not work out, especially when it has worked out before. I know because when I was having a hard time fitting in on this trip, I blamed myself for it. I thought that there had to be something wrong with me. Nobody can tell me if I am in the wrong or what I am doing wrong. I am not saying that I was 100% innocent, but if I had already reached out to people asking them what was wrong and nobody was responding, then at that point, I have done what I can, and the ball is in their court now. Who knows why they did not respond? Maybe I was not as easy to approach as I would like to think I am, I don’t know. It is also just possible that the environment served its purpose for me when I needed it to. Maybe I am outgrowing those things, and it is time to move on to the next new thing. It makes sense, this trip was the best trip ever as a college sophomore, however, I am graduating and doing the same things I did two years ago, especially with people who I do not hang out with regularly. It’s probably not going to serve the same purpose for me two years later, and that’s okay.
All I know is that it is not productive to dwell on something that you can not control. It is hard not to when you are put in an environment in which you do not have much of a choice. In those moments, it is important to try to find things to enjoy for yourself and focus on enjoying yourself. Not being able to fit into a group does not mean that you are not a good person, it’s hard to tell what it means, and to be honest. By sticking true to yourself, you learn to be content with your presence, if nothing else. After all, we only have ourselves at the end of the day, and that is the tough lesson we have to learn. I am still learning that tough lesson. On a random note, if you readers ever decide to visit New Orleans, I would highly recommend it. Just make sure to not interact with cat-callers, do not drink too many Hurricanes, and Cafe du Monde makes the best beignets.
