Double Trouble
I invited two boys to one date, apparently. (By “apparently”, I mean, yes, I did definitely do that.)
What constitutes a “date”, anyway? Is a date when a boy meets up with a girl? Or does it have to be defined as romantic? I think… I’m asking these questions to justify my behaviour, because if I’m going to be very truthful, everyone knows the difference between when you meet up with your pals, and when you meet up and that ugly monster of “potential” is awkwardly hiding under the table cloth. There’s a tangible difference — I know it, you know it, we all bloody know it.
Thing is guys, I was a dating pariah in Germany. I was everyone’s “pal”. I had a wild crush on a guy last year and did everything I could to hang out with him (I’m talking everything, there were events, there were new hobbies, there were invites, there was daily chatting, I was determined!) but… nothing ever happened. It drove me crazy and then, it drove me away from him. I gave up on romance. Boys were not what I was thinking of. Then, when I came back to Belfast, I just had other more important things to deal with, so boys were again, not the focus and just a bit of craic. Turns out, the combined power of “not really giving a shit anymore” plus “being much much happier in general” (with a wee dash of “fresh meat in town”) is pretty goddamn potent.
Am I justifying myself again? Shit.
So, look, it’s nice to not be crashing and burning in the romance stakes, ok? Forgive me for liking that.
Yesterday, I went to a comedy show in town. I knew I was meeting one guy there, and sure enough, there he was. He’d also brought a male pal of his along, so you see, it wasn’t a total date. Thing is, we definitely have flirted and I know there’s something in the air. However… yesterday I had also been invited by a German journalist who is writing about the Game of Thrones tourism industry in Northern Ireland to go for a drive up the north coast. (For those of you who don’t know Northern Ireland, the North Coast is one of the very few tourism attractions we peddle out — it is a nice part of the world, but it’s mostly just very picturesque coastlines. Oh, and now it has lots of Game of Thrones locations spotted along the way, so yeah, it’s good if you like that sort of stuff.) I would have gone, only I couldn’t really be arsed.
He seemed nice, and new in town, so I felt obliged to offer something else in return for refusing to go on the drive. So I mentioned the comedy show. I didn’t think he’d come.
He came.
He sat down at my table, which already had the other guy on the other side of me. I suddenly felt that the room had got really, really hot. I prayed they wouldn’t ask too much about each other. Thank God the show started and was so raucous that there was a brief reprieve from the awkwardness (noticeable only to me…? Was it only noticeable to me? I’m fairly sure both parties were wondering what the fuck was going on with the set up, but I calmed my nervous mind by reminding myself that on neither side had this been confirmed as a date, and if they both perhaps thought there was something romantic in the air, well, that was not really my problem, was it? WAS IT?!)
After the show, everyone turned to look at me for onward plans. I tried to nonchalantly say that I was going to meet my brother for his birthday plans, and that of course, everyone was welcome to join (please, don’t let everyone join, please, please God). Everyone didn’t join, but ha, both of the boys did. Arriving at my brother’s birthday drinks became farcical. Both boys seemed to compete for who could get along best with my brother (which, nice as it is, makes zero impact on how attractive I will find someone if I’m honest), with lots of back slapping and arms round shoulders. To be fair, they are both lovely people, both good looking and both guys I would usually, individually, be attracted to. Turns out though, you can’t really flirt with anyone when you have two at once. (That, by the way, is not a sentence I ever thought I would have to write, and really, does kind of sound like a dream problem, but it’s not, it was just awkward as balls). The upside of it all is that I didn’t/couldn’t get drunk as I was on high alert the whole time, so am hangover free today (unlike my poor bro).
Somehow, I averted disaster (and mayyyyyyyybe got a smooch with one of them, but that’s just a crazy rumour I heard) but holy crap. Never again. Turns out men aren’t like M&Ms, you can’t devour them in multiples (well, I mean, I’m sure you can, but that’s a different sort of set up altogether. I’m liberal but I’m not that liberal).
What the fuck though, I am never this girl. Really, I can’t stress this enough, in a movie of my own life, I still wouldn’t be the romantic lead, I’d be the kooky best friend. I’m ill-equipped to deal with this sort of stuff, I default to friendship, which is exactly why I ended up on a date with two boys. Haha, oh Lord.
