The year that was …

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You ever had those conversations? The ones with someone you just met or some acquaintance, where you both don’t know how, and what to talk about? Something along the lines of:

“Hi 2017! What’s up?”
“Hey Rishabh! Nothing much, just usual stuff you know. What’s up with you!”
“Same, nothing exciting”
“Oh ...”
“…”
“…”
“Gotta go, it was nice meeting you man!”
“Same brother, we should catch up more often”
“… Sure!”

Yeah, THAT conversation. 
2017 just ended and I don’t know how I feel about it. I have been trying to convey the year in a few hundred words, but it’s difficult to do so. Partly, because 2017 wasn’t exactly the year I would want to remember if someone asked me to recall the best year in my life. Then again, there are some events that happened in 2017, that would be etched forever in my heart.

Towards the close of 2016, I had vowed that I’d travel more in 2017, explore new places, whether it be around my city, or outside. Alas, that affirmation didn’t hold up, and 2017 turned out to be the year where I least traveled in a span of 365 days.

I also wanted to write more often this year. A lot of ideas kept visiting me on a daily basis, but, I just couldn’t bring it to fruition. Mostly because I thought no one would want to listen to the story of a youngster who has no accolades to show off. While I don’t necessarily write for audience, the anxious part of me skyrockets when I see just 10 views on a post. And that anxiety is bad. For me.

Talking about anxiety, it has been a revelation of sorts. While I can look back and say with pride that the number of days I stood in the corner of my room, contemplating and cursing life has been reduced drastically, there’s still an iota of it left somewhere inside of me. I can feel it. The few fits that showed up at my door from time to time, left me high and dry. Fortunately, I had a couple of friends who I could count on. They were always there, one call, one text away. I never felt ‘alone’ this year.

Friends have also been a tricky subject for me this last year. It marked a dimensional shift, in how I saw people as a whole. The ones who promised to stick together, in the highs and the lows, touched new lows for themselves. Games shifted from the board to each others’ minds. I lost trust in the word ‘trust’. The positives derived are far greater though. I distinguished gold faces from the gold-plated ones.
I bid adieu (only from my town, not heart) to my best friend who’s on her path to achieve great career heights. We don’t talk as much now as we did before, but she lights me up every time with her impromptu calls and texts. She means the world to me. 
I bonded up better with another, and now apart from ‘roasting’ each other all day, we engage in deep talks from time to time. I’m grateful for a handful of beautiful people who still check up on me. My ❤ will always be showered on all of you, bitches.

This 2017, I developed as a person. I think I’m more confident of myself than I was a year before. There’s still a lot of work required, but at least I’m progressing. Off the top of my head I want to get rid of procrastination, 24x7 self-consciousness, aversion to communicating with people this new year to help me improve. I want to improve health wise too. 2017 made me fall sick quite often, and I hope to change that in 2018. Being proactive will be my health goal. I also intend to devour a lot of books this year, contribute a lot more on Quora, and Medium. Expand knowledge, that will be a goal I don’t ever want to get satiated with.

I’m really looking forward to 2018. I know this year is going to be a life changing one for me. Not going to make any concrete resolutions, just abstract ones. I want to advance.

Advance. This is going to be the word of the year for me. Advance as a human, as a person, as a son, as a brother, or as a friend.

I have dreams, I have aspirations. 2018 will be the year I’ll progress, career-wise and as a person.

Happy New Year 2018, people. Resolve to be a better version of yourself this year. ❤

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