When COVID-19 becomes a Mindset
Do you hear that?
Me neither. It’s the sound of absolute still and pregnant silence. It wants to eat you and consume you, merge with your blood and become your mind soup, it’s COVID-19.
I realize we’re all struggling with this together. Today though, I can’t seem to get out of my own experience and recognize the other.
The energy feels neurotic. Like desperately waiting for news to bring you answers only to find another obstacle that brings you back to the same silence.
COVID-19 should be a verb after this.
Maybe it will be a new term that introverts can use in the future:
Pat: “Hey Billy, would you like to come out and have a coffee with me, discuss the new short films that SXSW just released?”
Billy: “ Sorry Pat, but I’m in a state of COVID-19, if you know what I mean.” Billy winks to indicate seething conspiracies that will keep him from having to join the societal fray.
COVID-19 \ ˈkō-vid-nīn-ˈtēn \
“A state of non-being, first stages of zombie disintegration, unfriendly, socially inept.”
Conspiracy theories are rampant right now as well they should be, there is no doubt a lot of weird shit going on in politik.
As I sit here eating the 7th cake my partner has “experimented” with in the last 6 weeks, drinking from a teapot that seems to follow me around everywhere I go, I can’t help but feel like it’s insanely hard to get my shit together.
I know you may have thought this article was going to be some sort of self-help bid for you to get your life together, to finally stop procrastinating, dream bigger, bigger than you’ve ever dared, but alas it’s not.
You’re in a crisis
Is that to-do list growing by the minute? Are you strategizing your next moves like Michael J. on the dance floor? Quit it.
You're in a crisis. And you have to remember that if you’re ever going to get through this with an ounce of sanity left to your name, you’re going to need to figure out how to smell the coffee funk in the sink disposal, wash your nasty clothes that you’ve been wearing three days in a row to save energy, and find a way to pick some flowers that might brighten your mood for your kitchen table.
It’s rough. We’re all in it. I don’t care if you’re the POTUS or a toad that was smashed along the road during my morning walk, we are all doing this together. We have to make gentleness our priority. (Not to say I have much sympathy for the POTUS; I say, grill the swine. He’s about to break…just…a…little…bit…longer.)
So am I.
What keeps you steady?
Endless pots of tea keep me sane, walks in the morning, and yoga at 9am. After that, when I’m left to my own devices I’m lost. I can swim in a sea of absolute inanity for hours; thinking, surely, I’m on to something.
But I’m not on to anything am I? There is absolutely nothing I know. So all this time researching, looking, filling, my brain with news and data could be spent…in a state of COVID-19.
I’m finding what destabilizes me is the fact that I keep pressuring myself to achieve something during this time. And I don't think that’s the point of all this. The zombie disintegration is real. First you start losing control of your emotions, then overthinking everything to the point of neuroses, and eventually land yourself deep in the throes of COVID-19.
What’s on the other side of this?
I don’t know what’s on the other side of this. No one does. Nature may have clues.
What I do know is that being in a state of COVID-19 can be detrimental to your wholeness as a human if you don’t stay calm; if you keep struggling against the ropes knotted behind your back. And if you give yourself guilt for being unable to accomplish what you could with your hands untied.
This is a test of character, will, and strength. Those that are able to get out of their own head and have compassion for the other are the ones who will go further once the pressure of this state of mind releases us.
Look to your neighbor, how can you brighten their day, each one with with their hands tied, fighting off disorienting bouts of COVID-19.
Calibrate your compass
Like me, I’m sure you’ve been reading and combing through the news to find out what direction this ship is sailing in, but ya gotta know, the compasses are off; calibration is key.
True north lies in the direction of complete and utter stillness. True genius is created in spaces like this. The only way out of this is through.
Find what keeps you calm. Exercise, dance, laugh, walk, write, collage, eat cake, carry a teapot around like a crazy person; Be open. Rest in your stillness and listen for the faint and subtle cries of your friend, your neighbor.
Pay attention to what actions you want to take when you hear them.
This is the way back home.
