Tony Hsieh, Mental Health & My Exit From Tech
Why chasing millions is not the pursuit of happiness.
I was staring at my Zoom screen in the midst of an interview for a compelling new tech company. After having exited my previous company, I sat there excited to chat with the founder of a company I thought had a great vision for the world. As he looked down at me whilst aggressively chewing on his nails, he was quick to boast about the cool pad he was staying at in Salt Lake City. He then spun his camera to give me a 180-degree view of his five-bedroom cottage, which he was enjoying all to himself. His friend Tony, yes the famous Tony from Zappos, had invited him to fly down for a retreat to brainstorm ideas for the future that too while in the midst of a pandemic. I wasn’t sure how to feel, awestruck or agitated.
I never ended up taking that job or proceeding with the interviews. The smell of bro culture caught me all the way in my condo 2000 miles away. This is one of many such incidents I experienced in my life as the founder of a tech company. The lure to solve the world’s biggest challenges through the acceleration of computing had brought me back to feel just as I did in my days in the corporate world. It felt exactly the same — ping pong tables and friendly founders — all a mere facade. It was a clique that I just didn’t seem to fit in.
As a highly ambitious individual, achieving top business degrees, I was on a mission to change the world. I knew the bottom line of any business is profitability not what the tech world seemingly tried to serenade me with. As a young minority woman, I somehow had to find a way to capture the whole market. Suddenly it was all about raising money and growing as fast as possible. That was the name of the game. Success was far less about profits and far more about money raised. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Did business school only teach me how to be a cog in the wheel, far less a billionaire entrepreneur?
Six years ago as a new founder, I picked up Delivering Happiness and was inspired by its author Tony Hsieh. After all, life and business should be centred around the notion of joy. Why else do we do anything in life? Especially when we set out to go build a business we love. Making customers happy became the centre of our focus in every activity we did in our business. But somehow I still didn’t feel happy. We hit our goals and I just got more tired as I pitched to more investors, tried to do what I was told and accelerate my business to the moon.
And this is why I was deeply touched by the passing of Tony Hsieh. A legendary founder, a visionary for the world and a generous supporter of his community. A life, which ended all too abruptly. Yet at the center of it all was the heavy tag of mental health. As a sufferer of anxiety myself for many years, I can understand the immense pressure one feels when building a company whether that be a small shop or a Zappos. Whilst I idolized Tony, somewhere inside he was battling to cope with the immense success he had and finding an identity in his own personal world — one that was not tied to Zappos, which he seemingly struggled to do.
And so one is naturally drawn to ask. Can one truly succeed at the highest levels without sacrificing one’s health or another aspect of their life? Is it worth the price tag? Did Tony truly find joy in his life whilst delivering happiness to thousands of customers? Or did it have to cost him his happiness to be so intensely focused on his customers? We will never know it all but my interaction on that interview late this summer left a lasting impression on me. The culture prevailing through the tech world was one that was cold and callous.
If there is anything I’ve realized in building my own businesses, it’s that one has to find a business that works for them. If freedom is the goal, then does making a multi-billion dollar business really help you find that? Entrepreneurs are typically 50% more likely to suffer from mental health issues than an ordinary citizen and twice as likely to suffer from depression.
Is it worth it at all? I decided to leave tech and focus on methods to help successful entrepreneurs who can also live a happy life. A life where we build a business, see it thrive and can enjoy our days on the back of the legacy we created. This is life. And this was Tony’s message to me. Life is precious, don’t lose it building empires, which could cost you your own life.
About the Author
Natasha Varma helps entrepreneurs around the world learn to leap out of the world of corporate. She is an entrepreneur and regular writer having been featured in several startup publications.
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