You don’t need the toxicity
Life shows you behaviors, events, and people to avoid via how they make you feel. If an experience feels rotten, it’s harmful, and it’s best to take note and make changes.
You recognize what to give up sometimes. It smacks you on the head and you can’t ignore it. You realize you must lose weight if obesity reduces your health, and you perceive it is wise to quit smoking when you gasp for air climbing the stairs.
However, you might overlook toxicity that ruins your happiness, even when it’s obvious. Difficult relationships, work issues, bad habits, and negative thoughts undermine your mental health.
Now and then, you may overlook physical discomfort too. Maybe, you eat until your belly swells, or drink alcohol until your head pounds and it takes hours or days to recover.
Why you overlook toxic concerns
You won’t pay attention to problem areas if they are chronic. When they become part of your ordinary routine, you don’t see them for what they are anymore.
Indeed, you could imagine they are normal and everybody else puts up with comparable struggles, so you tolerate them.
The truth, though, is anything that damages you is not okay. It might be typical for you, but this doesn’t mean you must endure it.
What is toxic?
Aspects of your life to quit include anything causing you more pain than satisfaction. You might hate doing some things, but they aren’t what I speak of though.
You could dislike a dead-end job, for instance, but it pays the bills. If that’s the case, it helps you put food on the table. It’s not toxic. It’s a means to a resolution so you require it more than it hurts you until you find something better.
What injures your well-being offers you less in compensation than you give.
How to pinpoint what to quit
Toxic habits and events erode your mental health. They include everything from hanging out with negative brain-drains to putting up with bullies.
At the same time, you might need to relinquish habits like viewing slasher movies if they give you nightmares or tuning in to the news if it adds to depression.
I gave up both, although I didn’t have awful dreams or suffer from anxiety. Rather, I discovered these behaviors were small dents in my well-being that grew.
No doubt, you encounter energy-zapping, happiness-destroyers daily, and your well-being will plummet unless you discard them.
You’ll recognize toxic people and habits because they make you uncomfortable and siphon your vitality.
Consider what results from talking with a pessimist, for instance.
Some folks are vampires.
You become listless and downhearted. Everything takes on a gray tinge. In other words, the interaction troubles you.
Other toxic encounters are more serious. Violent relationships, for instance, never afford positive payback compared to the destruction they cause.
Likewise, relationships in which you feel imposed upon are detrimental. Though, when you give and are fine with not seeing a return, you don’t get hurt by the absence of reciprocation.
If you imagine give and take is crucial, giving without payback will hurt. Not getting a healthy return looks like rejection or pressure without compensation.
This is where identifying what’s toxic for you becomes intimate and tricky. Your emotions influence whether something damages your well-being. It’s all about your viewpoint. As such, no one else can precisely tell you what harms you and what is okay.
Symptoms of toxicity
Life shows you the behaviors, events, and people to avoid via your deterioration and discomfort. If an experience feels rotten, it’s harmful, and it’s best to take note and make changes.
Toxicity reveals itself in many ways, and they all feel bad. So, you may be tired, stressed, ache, or be susceptible to bugs or more severe conditions.
Lack of sleep, headaches, depression, worry, decreased motivation, melancholy, and unhealthy habits (you use measures to enhance your mood) can be symptomatic of toxic accumulation.
Note the things you do that cause discomfort.
. How do you feel when you overeat, for instance?
. After you see a violent movie?
. When you polish off an entire bottle of wine by yourself?
. When you read bad news in the morning paper?
. Or force yourself to listen to your neighbor tell you what’s wrong with the world and everyone in it?
If you’ve identified certain people are poisonous elements for you, turn them loose. Don’t spend time with them if you can help it. Occasionally, you may have no choice but to be with them, but the trick to not getting poisoned is to not engage with them on an emotional level.
What do I mean?
If you take what someone says to heart, you’ve linked your emotions with their words which then have power to influence your mental well-being. To protect yourself prepare before you run into negative folks.
Shield your emotions and step-up resilience. Hold the intention not to engage with negativity, and let gloom fly over your head.
The knock-on effect
When you quit these toxic habits, a domino effect will take place. One behavior change causes another to fall. So, if you glug too much beer in the evenings, because you want to deaden the pain from another problem, then you abandon the cause of your habit, you won’t have such a powerful urge to drink anymore.
Similarly, when you stop engaging with negative people, you’ll manage your emotions better. You won’t need to make up for a shortfall in happiness-enhancing hormones by engaging in short-term mood-boosters that damage you long-term.
You might have more energy, for instance, and go for an evening stroll rather than deaden your mind viewing endless rubbish on the TV each night.
The more toxic behaviors you quit, the easier it will be to ditch even more poisonous elements in your life and your health and happiness will grow.
Keep it up
Once you decide what to quit, be strong. Remind yourself of the many ways putting up with these problems hurts you. Imagine, too, how much more stamina you’ll have when you stop toxicity dripping into your mind. Also, when you need to be resilient, recognize how your life will transform for the better when you cut harmful practices and people from your repertoire.
A Letter to My Past Self During the Hardest Time of Life
Dear past self, I’m prompted to let you in on a few secrets
Copyright © 2019 Bridget Webber. All rights reserved