What does the book “MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING” teach us about suffering?
Five years ago, an acquaintance of mine introduced me to the book “Man’s search for meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl. The one who told me about this book said that all of my sufferings will seem insignificant after reading this book. Ironically, the book teaches exactly the opposite. It teaches us that every person’s suffering is relative and that it is not correct to compare an individual’s suffering with that of others.
This is a monumental book in survival literature. Viktor E. Frankl, the author of the book, is a psychiatrist and a holocaust survivor. He survived the infamous Auschwitz concentration camp during world war II.
Dr. Frankl has survived horrors that most of us cannot even dare to imagine. He was underfed, exploited, and ill-treated in the concentration camp. After going through that degree of suffering, some people become insensitive to other people’s suffering. But he grew more sensitive to suffering and gave the world his insights into the nature of human suffering. His training as a clinical psychiatrist helped him understand the impact of suffering on human psychology.
I will try, to the best of my ability, to explain what I have learned from this book.
1. Never compare a person’s suffering with that of others
My attitude towards suffering changed after reading this book. In the years that followed, I’ve learned that when you have to comfort a person dealing with a problem, never ever tell them that there are people who are dealing with bigger problems. If you really feel what they are dealing with is trivial, try to explain the situation to them so that they realize it themselves.
Let us say you are dealing with some personal grief and you sought help from an elderly person in your family. How would you feel if he/she says that our generation dealt with much worse struggles? You feel bad, right?
It is one thing to see someone suffer and another thing to actually suffer.
“No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.”
Many times we judge others for doing what they did in a particular situation. But if we ask ourselves if we wouldn’t have done the same thing, I’m afraid, most of us won’t have an answer.
After all that Dr. Frankl had been through, he said this about suffering.
“Suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little.”
Suffering is relative to everyone.
Example
A bad-tempered teacher in the classroom might scare the hell out of a meek kid who suffers from dyslexia (a learning disorder). He might be having nightmares about his homework (the most dreadful thing for a kid) and the consequent punishment that follows if he fails to complete his homework.
Telling him that there are children who don’t have the good fortune of attending school does little in alleviating the pain of that kid.
It is very unfair and cruel to compare a person’s suffering to that of others. This makes the person feel guilty even about his/her own suffering. They are not even allowed to suffer. When not given an outlet, our suffering gets pent-up and continues to haunt us, and threatens to resurface in the future.
2. Finding meaning in suffering can help us deal with it
There was this period in my life when I had to do a job for two years. The work was tedious and grueling and not at all suited my taste. It is very frustrating and painful to get stuck in a job that you don’t like, especially when you have creative inclinations.
After suffering thus for a long time, I realized that whatever creative pursuit I wish to follow, I owe it to myself. It is up to nobody to see that I get what I want. I have to nurture it and I have to take care of it myself.
Upon realizing this, I stopped worrying about my job and started focusing on things that will help me get out of it. I found meaning in my suffering by having a purpose in my life. I somehow found the strength to endure my pain.
In this book, the author shows examples of two inmates who, finding meaning in their suffering, survived the concentration camp. One gathered the strength to survive from the will to see his daughter. Another survived his suffering with the will to complete his unfinished work and publish them. Dr. Frankl himself survived the camp because of his love for his wife, parents, and siblings. The anticipation to see his loved ones gave him the strength to endure the horrors of the concentration camp.
Someone wise said, “There is no help but self-help.”
Nobody is under any obligation to help us. That’s not to say there isn’t any kindness left in this world. But it helps immensely if we take it upon ourselves the responsibility for our well-being. If we help ourselves, external help will somehow find its way to us.
Instead of playing the victim card, we can reduce the pain of our suffering by finding meaning in it.
If a person attaches himself to someone other than himself or to some higher purpose that is above oneself, then he finds meaning in his life. By finding meaning in our life, we can alter our attitude towards suffering.
These are the lessons that I have learned from this book. It has deepened my understanding of suffering and has made me more compassionate towards others.
What do you think about the view that this book presents?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Happy healing
Love
Subahan
