4 Lessons I’m Using To Improve My Copywriting, By Way Of A Book Called “Storycraft”.
By Jack Hart. Chapter 7 (“Action”). Lessons for you, too?
I don’t want to share every detail of my life, but basically, I have a few notes that I’ve gotten from an Editor of a somewhat new copywriting job I started that I really want to improve on. I’m not sure if I’m good at writing “marketing messages”, but I’d like to make the effort to figure it out.
In this job, I am tasked with writing web pages for therapist websites. Pages on grief, depression, trauma, anxiety, Christian counseling, postpartum depression, et cetera.
I’ve gotten comments back from the Editor on passive versus active voice, organization, and other items. It is frustrating to try but not always hit the mark.
Two things I can change are taking away music as I work and using earplugs as I write. I also printed out sample pages to study to continue to work on getting the format down.
I can also make other adjustments. I’m currently reading a book called Storycraft: The Complete Guide To Writing Narrative Nonfiction, and I am gonna talk about some notes from Chapter 7 (“Action”) that I think can help me on my next page. And you too should these notes apply.
Why do I share? Am I miserable and need company? Maybe I also yearn for human connection, ew. Anyway, here are four lessons I really liked, with examples from the chapter.
1. You can use 3 types of verbs when writing narrative nonfiction: transitive, linking, and intransitive verbs.
A transitive verb includes an object that the subject acts on. An intransitive verb doesn’t have an object. A linking verb connects the subject to provide more information about it.
Transitive verbs help move a story along by sharing information on the “actors” of the story, and showing motive, or the reason for an action. A linking verb works well for exposition to explain an idea.
Transitive Verb Example:
- But as she glances at the dashboard clock, the smile disappears. (The dashboard clock is the object of glances.)
Intransitive Verb Example:
- Winona smiles. (Smiles has no object.)
Linking Verb Example:
- They’re going to be late. (Are is a connector to give detail about the subject “they”.)
How can I use these three types of verbs to strengthen the marketing messages I’m building? (How can you use them in your own writing?)
2. Avoid expletives.
Not the curse words, though they have their place. In writing, Storycraft author Jack Hart refers to these as sentence fillers, empty words. A few examples:
- There is/are/was
- It is/are/was
I think I have this down. But I still can keep this in my back pocket like an Alanis Morrissette song of old. (Real-time edit: No I didn’t have them down.)
Now, take these two examples, one with an expletive and the other without.
Example With Expletive:
- There are two airplanes on the runway.
Example Without An Expletive:
- Two airplanes sat on the runway.
You can take “two airplanes on the runway” and make a more descriptive and concise sentence with the action verb sat.
3. Avoid “beyond beginnings”.
Hart calls the idea I’m about to describe a beyond beginning. I call it a double start because it reminds me of childhood, racing kids in our apartment complex (socioeconomic indicator, maybe?), or in track freshman year.
Double starts are harmful because they ultimately slow down your running. It happens when a person preps to run before the referee yells GO! A stutter step. So if you start the race before actually starting, then you have to recover as other runners start on time and don’t need to recover speed.
Like in running, our sentences should also avoid double starts. Rather than say we’re starting to do something, we should just do it. That in itself shows the start.
Take these two examples.
A Sentence With A Beyond Beginning:
- The plane began to circle. (Began is the double start — once you say circles, this indicates that the process has begun.)
Versus:
- The plane circled.
The second sentence is more concise and less repetitive. Ah.
4. Use the active voice.
I had corrections for this — I need to be sure to use active voice over passive voice.
In active voice, a subject acts on a verb. In passive voice, the subject is acted on by the verb. Active voice brings more power to a narrative.
Take these two examples.
Sentence Using Active Voice:
- Her doctor encouraged her to return to the accident scene.
Sentence Using Passive Voice:
- She was encouraged to return to the accident scene.
How does the story change in knowing that her doctor encouraged her to go back to the scene rather than any old (or young) person? The passive voice doesn’t give us as much detail to grasp the story.
This quote encapsulates the power in using active voice. It’s so pretty in a simple way to me:
“Like transitive verbs, active voice advances the narrative by showing why and how human beings affect the world around them. One action leads to another which leads to another. That’s the essence of story.” -Jack Hart, Storycraft
These are some of the lessons that I can take from Chapter 7 (“Action”) in Storycraft to work on writing a stronger marketing message. And for you reading, I hope you find something in these words also.
Thanks for reading — now let me get to work.
P.S. In this post, I edited five expletives and one double start before submitting, which obviously sucks. But progress would be the name for this. So it is said.
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