Free Verse | Poetry
Fall Back
Changes in leaves and love
Silence fills the room up with dense space
the air is full of tense angst
anxious thoughts start to race
we’re back in this familiar place
toxic patterns we both must trace
The problems that we face
seem so hard to erase
I am doing the work
day in and day out
attempting to heal
validating how I feel
breathing deep underwater like a scuba diver
trying to accept and keep it real just like MacGyver
watching thoughts and critiques pass by
like pesky insects in the sky
when they fly
some may crash into me
test my vibe, then they lie
on the ground
where my feet are planted firmly
I rise up and stay present
show love and affirm me
Not every time, but I’m growing
less thinking
more going
finding beauty in not knowing
like the colors of the luminous leaves
warm and glowing
on autumn trees, way up high
reaping what I’m sowing
far from perfect
this I know
but aligned actions are showing
you’re exploding and unloading
I just wanna see you try
It’s getting hard to accept this and I don’t wanna judge
My only desire is for you to just budge
just a nudge
I want better for us
you say that you’re trying but I feel like Stevie Wonder
you’re easily triggered and losing it under
the pressures of life, the strife, and the storms
when anger is thunder and words are like thorns
There’s growth in the eye of this bleak hurricane
Roses of empathy can lead us back to love again
Our paths are unique and we both have our pain
let’s find understanding to cope with the change
Cuz lately I don’t feel our love is the same
two lovers, estranged
just playing the game
Real love is the thing
that matters to me
I wanna be with you
but do you want me?
cuz I don’t feel seen
or heard when I speak
you think it’s a lot
I think you’re hard to read
so, maybe it’s not
open up to me
please don’t get defensive
shut down and just flee
I know I can’t judge you
cause sometimes that’s me
I just want us to display love and be free
I truly believe
we found love for a reason
was it for all time?
Or just for a season??
I’m happy you’re here
I love you the same
but romantic feelings
don’t pop in my brain
or bud in my body
and bloom into lust
sometimes I don’t feel safe
it’s harder to trust
I’m doing the work
I know it’s a must
I’m trying with you
but it’s about us
I’m going to let you be you
and focus on me
draw boundaries for now
and just let it be
I still have some hope
true love can come back
I’m here if you need me but
I’ma fall back.
©TarynAriel2023
African American writer
The context of this poem is a toxic relationship. A lot of times, the term “toxic relationship” is used to mean that the other person in the relationship is toxic. I believe that many times, there could be toxicity to varying extents on both sides. This poem portrays the relationship frustration that a partner who is working on themselves in the relationship can feel towards a partner who, seemingly, isn’t doing the same. If the partner who isn’t working on themselves lacks awareness of the ways in which they could be toxic, the partners may find themselves at odds. Like they just aren’t listening ear to heart.
Relationships, especially of the romantic nature, can be as rewarding as they are challenging. I think what we all really want is understanding. When we communicate. Do we truly hear what the other is saying? Could defensiveness, judgment, and ego be getting in the way?
The following song is brought to us by 90’s R & B. It’s called “Understanding” by Xscape. The context of the poem made me think of it. I believe music connects us all in ways that are unspoken and undeniable. In the vibe of a song, we can find connections with others in the humanity that intertwines with rhythm, rhymes, melodies, and beats. While the song plays, we naturally become present with this connective energy. Realizing, even if it’s just for the duration of a song, that we are all chained to the rhythm of life. Shout out to Katy Perry for that banger.
Thanks for reading! :)
Don’t forget to clap, follow, and/or subscribe so we can vibe.
And if you feel so inclined, buy me some tea at the link below! ❤
