How Do You Mourn a Stranger’s Death?
By remembering your own
Dead people don’t tell us any stories
For example,
What they felt in their last moments
What or who they saw
Did they see death coming? Or were they as shocked as we were when we heard the news of their death?
And now, that they are on the side:
What was the first thing they saw?
When did they realize they were not in this world?
Do they get to interact with other dead people? And how does that work?
Do you meet your family first? Or whoever is lying next to you? Do you sit up or get to stand up?
What’s the first thing you say to each other? Or do you even need to say words?
Do you ask each other how you got here? Or is it like how we do in the world: “Where are you from, brother?”
Do they ask each other how long they’ve been dead?
Do they ask around if there’s anywhere else they need to go?
Or do they ask, what’s next from here?
Does it dawn on them that this is the final destination?
And does, finally, in death, they understand the purpose of living?
Do they get the answers or do they keep looking?
Background
Fridays are the busiest day of the week. I have my weekly e-newsletter deadline so any emails not related to the task at hand are usually left unopened or flagged red, so I remember to respond later.
I received an email from an external vendor. I don’t know what made me open it (I was 100 per cent sure it was a follow-up to a ticket), but I froze after what I read.
The email announced the death of the original responder of the ticket with a note that the new sender would take it forward from there. Last week my manager and I had a pleasant call with the original responder and it turned out that he had passed away the next day.
That day was the first and only time we had met him. We had no working relationship with him. And I know nothing about him other than the usual pleasantries people share about the weather, Toronto traffic, Calgary winter, etc.
But it rocked me.
That our end can happen any time, any place. And we make such a big deal about ourselves.
Much like the unresolved ticket passed on to another customer support rep, we too will vanish from each other’s day-to-day. Just like that.
A Pakistani writer
