I Used to Be Pretty

Now I’m just sad

Photo by Francesca Zama on Unsplash

Remembering when I
I turned heads

I feel an empty nest
And an empty soul

I have memories
That are void
In a dark, dark
Place

That I once existed
If I could only go

Back
And be who I was
Meant to be

Before they stole
My self-esteem
And sanity

Before they made me
Fight for what was mine
To begin with

How could sperm
And an egg

Connect to make someone
Like me
Someone unwanted
Uncherished

Left here alone
To rot
And wither

While they got their
Wish to live happily
And die young

Melissa Steussy~Minneapolis

This is a poem about aging and losing our looks over time. Losing our children as they get older and wishing we could go back and make some wiser choices. All we have is today, but it’s hard sometimes not to get stuck in the past and to grieve for the time and people who are gone too soon. My grandparents always said they were going to die anyway, so they may as well die happy, and for them, that meant drinking. My whole family struggled with alcoholism. I got sober at 21 and 26 years later, here I am alone, while they have all died.