Ranking Red Sox Walk-up Songs
What is hype and what is junk?
There is nothing fun about the Red Sox right now. The offense is slumping, they’re getting slapped around, losing division games. Even getting no-hit.
So let’s make our own fun.
What follows is my ranking of every walk-up song available on the Sox website. I chose the primary song for each guy to make it easier.
I ranked them based on how well it works as a hype song, how well it matches the player, and quality of the song — which of course includes my own personal taste. It’s my list, not yours.
To listen to every song, I created this in-order Spotify playlist.
25. Garrett Whitlock — Long Black Train by Josh Turner
WTF Whitlock? This country boy chose his country song and if it ain’t the goofiest shit I ever did hear. This man is the scariest pitcher on the team right now, and this is a song for him and him only. I get that, but we need him to scare the hell out of people.
24. Tanner Houck — Sky Fall by Travis Scott (feat. Young Thug)
This is a bad pick. Houck is simply not cool like this. Also, the album cover is ridiculous. The guy thinks that “the trap still boomin.” Looks like he’ll get some quality time at the trap during this vacation since he can’t play in Toronto. Let’s hope he steers clear of the baking soda.
23. Travis Shaw — Talk That Talk by Rihanna (feat. JAY-Z)
Looks like Shaw is self aware. His walk-up song includes the line, “Every little city I go, “Fuck me!”
Those cities are Toronto, Tampa Bay, and New York.
22. Phillips Valdez — Many Men (Wish Death) by 50 Cent
Valdez probably wishes death when he comes in with the bases loaded in the third inning.
He needs more hype in his song.
21. Austin Davis — Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low
Austin Davis is 29 years old. You KNOW he went to Warped Tour.
20. Alex Verdugo — Volver Volver by Vicente Fernández
Dugie must REALLY like this song because it is not at all characteristic of a strong walk-up song. It ranks above others on the list because at least it isn’t…bad.
19. Rich Hill — Even Flow by Pearl Jam
OF COURSE old man Rich Hill would use a fucking Pearl Jam song. The only people still listening to 90s grunge have grey in their beard now.*
*I have grey in my beard and Rich Hill could almost be my father.
18. Nathan Eovaldi — Come Together by Gary Clark Jr. & Junkie XL
I love Nasty Nate, but he seems like the exact kind of guy who would use a song from the Justice League (2017) soundtrack. He is the kind of person that thought that movie was awesome.
What’s wrong with the original?
17. Jackie Bradley Jr. — Ramen & OJ by Joyner Lucas & Lil Baby
It’s fine. I would characterize every song from this point on as “good.”
16. Matt Strahm — Beast Unleashed by Vin Jay
Vin Jay has made five songs called Beast Unleashed.
There are only three Godfather movies.
15. Christian Vázquez — La Fiesta (Remix) by 116, Alex Zurdo & Redimi2 (feat. Funky & Lecrae)
I like Váz. I hate that people hate him. This song works for him.
14. Bobby Dalbec — Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix
Bob used to use The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. That seemed like a much better fit for a native West Coaster called Robert Vernon Dalbec. Jimi is too cool for him, but it’s a great choice nonetheless.
13. Hansel Robles — Rest in Peace (Undertaker) by Jim Johnston (WWE)
This song begins a stretch in the rankings of prototypical walk-up songs. Maybe they’re not the the best fits for each player, but they still work. That run includes this one and the next three songs.
This one clearly works as it was The Undertaker’s most famous entrance song. Hansel Robles is absolutely nothing like The Undertaker.
12. Matt Barnes — Bigfoot by W&W
Would work better if Barnes was still a lights out closer. Closers need “Oh shit, he’s coming” songs. Rivera, Papelbon, even Melancon had an electric entrance during his time in San Diego.
He’s got the song, he just needs to close again.
11. Trevor Story — Goosebumps (Remix) by Travis Scott & HVME
It’s hype. It works. One of the better gimme options.
10. Hirokazu Sawamura — Sandstorm by Darude
The best of the classic walk-up songs, beating out the other three.
9. Xander Bogaerts — Walk It Talk It by Migos (feat. Drake)
This song is fine. His walk rate (as of this writing) in 2022 is currently 3.0%. Maybe he should use the other song, X Gon’ Give It to Ya by DMX, as his primary song until he starts taking walks again.
8. Kevin Plawecki — Dancing On My Own (Tiësto Remix) by Calum Scott
This one is great, but it makes me sad. October of 2021 was so fun. I wish they went further…
7. Kiké Hernández — El Abusador Del Abusador by Daddy Yankee
I love Kiké. This song is so much fun and perfectly matches the smile Kiké brings to every game. This might be the best match of song to player, other than hillbilly Whitlock…
6. Rafael Devers — Leyenda by Anuel AA
Raffy could walk out to “Row Row Row Your Boat” and it would be awesome.
5. J.D. Martinez — Hustlin’ by Rick Ross
Everyday I’m hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin
It’s a great 15 seconds to walk into the batter’s box with. And J.D. does hustle. Unless, of course, he has to field, run, or throw.
4. Nick Pivetta — ‘Till I Collapse by Eminem (feat. Nate Dogg)
This is a great “Oh shit, he’s coming” song. Pitchers need songs that make them out to be Slenderman. Just plain scary. Lurking in the shadows of the bullpen.
Luckily for Nick, he looks just like Slenderman, so he’s halfway there.
If he can turn it around, this pick is next level. Unfortunately, I think I cursed him.
3. Kutter Crawford — Kickstart My Heart by Mötley Crüe
The best white boy bullshit on the list. It really works.
2. Jake Diekman — R.K. Huskers by Tech N9ne
THIS is a closer’s song. I wish Diekman was the closer…
Do teams even have closers anymore?
Thanks Tampa, for ruining that too.
- Christian Arroyo — Praise God by Kanye West
Arroyo is using this 15 second TikTok phenomenon for some of the best 15 seconds you could ask for. It actually makes that dork cool. And isn’t that what this whole thing is about anyway?
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