Ranking Red Sox Walk-up Songs

What is hype and what is junk?

There is nothing fun about the Red Sox right now. The offense is slumping, they’re getting slapped around, losing division games. Even getting no-hit.

So let’s make our own fun.

What follows is my ranking of every walk-up song available on the Sox website. I chose the primary song for each guy to make it easier.

I ranked them based on how well it works as a hype song, how well it matches the player, and quality of the song — which of course includes my own personal taste. It’s my list, not yours.

To listen to every song, I created this in-order Spotify playlist.

25. Garrett Whitlock Long Black Train by Josh Turner

WTF Whitlock? This country boy chose his country song and if it ain’t the goofiest shit I ever did hear. This man is the scariest pitcher on the team right now, and this is a song for him and him only. I get that, but we need him to scare the hell out of people.

24. Tanner Houck Sky Fall by Travis Scott (feat. Young Thug)

This is a bad pick. Houck is simply not cool like this. Also, the album cover is ridiculous. The guy thinks that “the trap still boomin.” Looks like he’ll get some quality time at the trap during this vacation since he can’t play in Toronto. Let’s hope he steers clear of the baking soda.

23. Travis ShawTalk That Talk by Rihanna (feat. JAY-Z)

Looks like Shaw is self aware. His walk-up song includes the line, “Every little city I go, “Fuck me!”

Those cities are Toronto, Tampa Bay, and New York.

22. Phillips ValdezMany Men (Wish Death) by 50 Cent

Valdez probably wishes death when he comes in with the bases loaded in the third inning.

He needs more hype in his song.

21. Austin DavisDear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low

Austin Davis is 29 years old. You KNOW he went to Warped Tour.

20. Alex Verdugo Volver Volver by Vicente Fernández

Dugie must REALLY like this song because it is not at all characteristic of a strong walk-up song. It ranks above others on the list because at least it isn’t…bad.

19. Rich HillEven Flow by Pearl Jam

OF COURSE old man Rich Hill would use a fucking Pearl Jam song. The only people still listening to 90s grunge have grey in their beard now.*

*I have grey in my beard and Rich Hill could almost be my father.

18. Nathan Eovaldi Come Together by Gary Clark Jr. & Junkie XL

I love Nasty Nate, but he seems like the exact kind of guy who would use a song from the Justice League (2017) soundtrack. He is the kind of person that thought that movie was awesome.

What’s wrong with the original?

17. Jackie Bradley Jr. Ramen & OJ by Joyner Lucas & Lil Baby

It’s fine. I would characterize every song from this point on as “good.”

16. Matt Strahm Beast Unleashed by Vin Jay

Vin Jay has made five songs called Beast Unleashed.

There are only three Godfather movies.

15. Christian Vázquez La Fiesta (Remix) by 116, Alex Zurdo & Redimi2 (feat. Funky & Lecrae)

I like Váz. I hate that people hate him. This song works for him.

14. Bobby DalbecPurple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

Bob used to use The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. That seemed like a much better fit for a native West Coaster called Robert Vernon Dalbec. Jimi is too cool for him, but it’s a great choice nonetheless.

13. Hansel RoblesRest in Peace (Undertaker) by Jim Johnston (WWE)

This song begins a stretch in the rankings of prototypical walk-up songs. Maybe they’re not the the best fits for each player, but they still work. That run includes this one and the next three songs.

This one clearly works as it was The Undertaker’s most famous entrance song. Hansel Robles is absolutely nothing like The Undertaker.

12. Matt BarnesBigfoot by W&W

Would work better if Barnes was still a lights out closer. Closers need “Oh shit, he’s coming” songs. Rivera, Papelbon, even Melancon had an electric entrance during his time in San Diego.

He’s got the song, he just needs to close again.

11. Trevor StoryGoosebumps (Remix) by Travis Scott & HVME

It’s hype. It works. One of the better gimme options.

10. Hirokazu Sawamura — Sandstorm by Darude

The best of the classic walk-up songs, beating out the other three.

9. Xander Bogaerts — Walk It Talk It by Migos (feat. Drake)

This song is fine. His walk rate (as of this writing) in 2022 is currently 3.0%. Maybe he should use the other song, X Gon’ Give It to Ya by DMX, as his primary song until he starts taking walks again.

8. Kevin Plawecki — Dancing On My Own (Tiësto Remix) by Calum Scott

This one is great, but it makes me sad. October of 2021 was so fun. I wish they went further…

7. Kiké Hernández — El Abusador Del Abusador by Daddy Yankee

I love Kiké. This song is so much fun and perfectly matches the smile Kiké brings to every game. This might be the best match of song to player, other than hillbilly Whitlock…

6. Rafael Devers — Leyenda by Anuel AA

Raffy could walk out to “Row Row Row Your Boat” and it would be awesome.

5. J.D. Martinez — Hustlin’ by Rick Ross

Everyday I’m hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin’
Hustle, hustlin’ hustlin

It’s a great 15 seconds to walk into the batter’s box with. And J.D. does hustle. Unless, of course, he has to field, run, or throw.

4. Nick Pivetta — ‘Till I Collapse by Eminem (feat. Nate Dogg)

This is a great “Oh shit, he’s coming” song. Pitchers need songs that make them out to be Slenderman. Just plain scary. Lurking in the shadows of the bullpen.

Luckily for Nick, he looks just like Slenderman, so he’s halfway there.

If he can turn it around, this pick is next level. Unfortunately, I think I cursed him.

3. Kutter Crawford — Kickstart My Heart by Mötley Crüe

The best white boy bullshit on the list. It really works.

2. Jake Diekman — R.K. Huskers by Tech N9ne

THIS is a closer’s song. I wish Diekman was the closer…

Do teams even have closers anymore?

Thanks Tampa, for ruining that too.

  1. Christian Arroyo — Praise God by Kanye West

Arroyo is using this 15 second TikTok phenomenon for some of the best 15 seconds you could ask for. It actually makes that dork cool. And isn’t that what this whole thing is about anyway?

Want to chat baseball? Email me: theboywholovedjoekelly@gmail.com

Or watch The Bastards of Boston Baseball on YouTube.

Want to keep updated with the column? Find it on Instagram @theboywholovedjoekelly and Twitter @boywholovedmlb

--

--

--

Boston baseball and other teams that aren’t as fun.

Recommended from Medium

“I Hope You Dance” — Lee Ann Womack

Introducing Noah Fense, a gifted rapper and talented clothing designer within the community

Shocking Lil Wayne Goat Hoofed Shoes — Are They Human?

Shocking Lil Wayne Goat Hoofed Shoes - Are They Human?

Mobius Guides — Self-Management for Musicians

“I Am A Rock” — Simon and Garfunkel

Desert Diamond Casino Concert Schedule

Desert

Let Us Start the Year 2022 on a Clear High Vertical Note

The Best Christmas Albums, According to the CDs My Parents Own

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Patrick J. Regal

Patrick J. Regal

Educator. Artist. Founder and Editor of Feature Presentation. Instagram: patrickjregal

More from Medium

Nobody likes my images, why do I bother?

A Back and a Bench.

Vintage Lens Review | Super Takumar 50mm F1.4

Five MLB Debuts to Watch for in 2022