The Red Sox Have Already Been Walked-off by Every AL East Team

And they’ve all been tough pills to swallow.

Julio Cortez, AP

April has been a really tough month for the Boston Red Sox. We knew that it was going to be tough going in, so I was just hoping for a .500 start. I maintain the belief that this team will be a brand new ball club come this summer, with the returns of Chris Sale and James Paxton, as well as a call-up of someone whose name rhymes with Schmiston Schamas.

But I fear we may be digging ourselves too big of a hole. Maybe .500 was a bit optimistic, especially with a schedule splattered in division games, but a 9–14 first month of the season has highlighted some of the worst things about this team.

And some of these losses have been brutal. We’ve been walked-off by every other team in the division, all during away games.

So I’ve decided to forego the State of the Union I had planned (we suck, moving on…) and have instead decided to rank those four walk-off loses, from least painful to most painful.

Enjoy the misery.

4. 4/8/22 — New York Yankees, 10th inning walk-off on Opening Day

I wasn’t too upset when this one happened and I can’t be upset about it now after the month we’ve had.

Sure, it sucks to lose to the Yankees on Opening Day. It stinks to lose in the 10th inning on Opening Day. Even worse, it sucks to lose after beating up on Gerrit Cole to start the game.

Raffy slaps a two run homer in his first at bat of the year and I’m convinced this team will never lose. But we can’t quite hold on and it goes to extras. Kutter Crawford on the bump and three pitches later we’ve lost thanks to a Josh Donaldson single.

I like the Manfred Man on second base in extras and sometimes you have to take the bad with the good when it comes to that decision. Sometimes you’ll lose on a single.

Whatever. The Yankees still suck. I’m not at all impressed by their division lead right now, even if I am a little jealous. Please enjoy this Yankees Suck chant I helped start the other day. (Never dare The Girl Who Loved Nick Pivetta to start one — she will.)

3. 4/30/22 — Baltimore Orioles, 10th inning error

The Baltimore Orioles are celebrating 30 years of Camden Yards this year and they’ve got this montage that plays during the games that highlights some of the best moments in the ballpark’s history. Cal Ripken Jr.’s 2,131. Eddie Murray’s 500.

And then they show the September 2011 performance by Robert Andino that sent the Red Sox packing and led to them missing the playoffs. “The Curse of the Andino” led to heckles about chicken and beer, the firing of Terry Francona, and a new day in Red Sox Nation.

It really annoys me because every other thing in the montage is a monumental personal achievement. This just feels like, “And there was also that time we fucked the Red Sox!” They finished in 5th place that year, the only accomplishment was screwing us.

Well, the Curse felt alive and well this weekend as Baltimore shut down a Red Sox team that would kill for a September collapse.

It was heartbreaking to see Sawamura’s boneheaded mistake in person, but it wasn’t even the worst part of the weekend.

2. 4/23/22 — Tampa Bay Rays, walk-off after no-hitter

We got no-hit by the Tampa Bay Rays, but got a fighting chance because we held them scoreless through the regulation nine.

A little free baseball gave us hope. Bobby Dalbec gave me hope.

I love Bobby. He has great potential, cares deeply, and seems like a great guy. But he’s getting really hard to defend.

A lead-off triple that soars over Brett Phillips’ head. There’s the Bobby I know! He can do it! He can do it!

Bobby scores the second run and we’re up 2–0 going into the bottom of the tenth.

We turn off the tv and head out to go bowling. “Let’s listen to the end of the game in the car,” I say. As I’m driving, The Girl Who Loved Nick Pivetta SCREAMS.

Because Bobby screwed it up. Trevor Story got marked with the throwing error, but we all know that Bobby’s Fred Flintstone footwork screwed him up and he missed it.

The Rays score three and win 3–2. The drive to bowling is somber.

1. 4/26/22 — Toronto Blue Jays comeback from 5–2

This collapse is even worse. Some may argue it’s never harder to lose than when your own team screws you over (as opposed to just getting beat), but I disagree when the guy beating you up is Raimel Tapia.

Going into the bottom of the ninth, we’re up 5–2. Somehow, three runs just ain’t enough cushion. Diekman gives up a two-run whammy to George Springer and it’s a tie game.

From that point on, I knew we were going to lose. There was just no other option. The Jays are too good and we’re too bad. We couldn’t bring the free run Manfred Man home and we lose on a Raimel Tapia double.

And I suppose that’s why I’m writing this, huh? We’re watching our team and just knowing that we’re going to lose. Franchy Cordero is somehow our best hope at first base. We’ve already had Kevin Plawecki pitch. I’m walking back some Jackie Bradley Jr. hate…

You know we’re in a tough spot when I’m doing that.

Let’s hope it doesn’t last too much longer. See you next week.

Want to chat baseball? Email me: theboywholovedjoekelly@gmail.com

Or watch The Bastards of Boston Baseball on YouTube.

Want to keep updated with the column? Find it on Instagram @theboywholovedjoekelly and Twitter @boywholovedmlb

Stats, as always, are from Baseball Reference, FanGraphs, and MLB.com

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Patrick J. Regal

Patrick J. Regal

Educator. Artist. Founder and Editor of Feature Presentation. Instagram: patrickjregal