Decolonizing My Writing Life
Moving from rote to conscious creative choices.
Figuring out what my writing life looks like is a daily practice. Like a jigsaw puzzle before it’s complete, I move pieces around trying to get a sense of what the ultimate picture is. This practice is both dynamic in that it involves a lot of asking questions and having conversations, and it is also a practice of stillness and checking in with myself, noticing when I or others might be perpetuating harmful systemic beliefs.
The puzzling questions I asked today were ‘Do I want to put out a newsletter? What would that look like? What would it be called and what kinds of posts would I write?’ Off the top of my head, I came up with six possible posts all of which I was excited by. I have ideas and opinions and I notice things, so it wasn’t all that hard to do but the real work came once I’d scribbled out my six topics and asked myself: Is this what I want to do? Who would benefit from this newsletter and why is this coming up for me now?
Interrogating Power Dynamics
Last week I had a brief informational interview with someone who is a freelance writer. This person writes and pitches articles to a variety of outlets, living out a writing life monetizing their work, and posting the results of their successes and failures on Instagram.
Recently this person launched a coaching service to help other writers learn the ins and outs of freelance writing. They advertised that they were offering free 15-minute conversations by Zoom and so I decided to reach out as I was curious whether freelancing the way they do it would be something for me.
During our time together I asked them questions and they got a chance to ask me some questions. At their invitation, I played a bit and practiced trying on different ideas of what my writing life could look like in three years if I pursued freelancing. When we got to the end of our time, they told me what a wonderful addition I would make to their coaching group and invited me to join. Of course, I understood that this is a service they are providing and I would need to pay them so I was honest and said that I’m not looking for coaching at the moment but that I was grateful for their time. When that was met with a blank look, I elaborated kindly saying that in reality, I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed that everyone seems now to have a coaching service — book coaching, story coaching, freelance writing coaching. I said that I would think about our conversation and the points they made about the benefits of freelancing, I thanked them for their time and I wished them well. In all ways, I tried to be diplomatic, kind, and transparent about my reticence to buy what they’re selling. I’m clear that I don’t need to pay them for a service I don’t need just because they gave me fifteen minutes of their time.
The next day they posted about our conversation in their Stories to sell their services to other writers. They took my words and twisted them in service of their monetary gainsaying that I was so confused by the plethora of options out there that I simply couldn’t make heads or tails of what the market offered. They misrepresented what I said and what made it worse was they used my name.
I’ve had plenty of other informational interviews both as interviewer and interviewee and thankfully in each of these scenarios every one has been gracious with their time and knowledge. The aftermath of my interaction with this person however left a terrible taste in my mouth. If you make money with your writing, that’s phenomenal. Most writers I know would love to do that.
Where this situation gets sticky for me is the pursuit of money over and above the pursuit of goodwill, community, and solidarity with other writers. While this person bills themselves as supporting writers that may only be so when they can sell their services and get another piece of their puzzle.
Critical Questions to Ask
I’ve come to realize that my puzzle of a writing life is about figuring out which pieces work for me. Central to this work is making sure that whatever I choose as my next puzzle piece isn’t keeping anyone else from figuring out what works for them. The person in the anecdote above is playing a zero-sum game rooted in capitalism and colonialism.
The process of asking Is this right for me or is it just the new thing on social media? is a way of decolonizing my writing life. It allows me to question whether I want to do something or whether I think I need to do so something. Am I leaning hard into a scarcity mentality, hustle and grind culture, or am I moving with purpose and intention? Am I prioritizing money over community or am I having open, honest conversations with others and myself in service of moving closer to doing the things that bring joy, gratitude, and healing for everyone?
Every day I move puzzle pieces around to figure out the bigger picture of this writing life. And every day I’m learning more about myself as a writer and about who I want around me. I’m learning that asking questions is critical to the dismantling of ideologies that may be perpetuated in the writing community that are ultimately harmful to my thriving as a writer.
I hope that by doing this work I will get to look out at the landscape of my writing life and know that each step I took was purposeful and moved me into the right relationship with myself and others.
I hope that I paid attention to the things that fed my spirit foremost and not the capitalist economy and not the expectations of others; that I moved toward projects and people that enlighten and challenge and move us collectively toward transformation.
I hope that by my doing this I am helping others to do the same.
