The Importance Of Writing About Pain
For you and your readers.
Writing is a difficult task. Writing about our traumas can be harrowing. Nonetheless, writing about our struggles is a way to confront and analyze our limitations, to find acceptance, and to move forward.
But the benefits of writing about pain are not limited to the writer. Reading about the issues that other people are facing can change our perspective, increase our empathy, and open our eyes to our struggles.
Nowadays, it is a generally accepted idea that writing has therapeutical benefits. Whether it is a diary, a novel where we let our imagination blossom, an article, or a letter to the ones we hurt, writing can bring a sense of relief or even accomplishment to the author.
When we start filling a page with the thoughts that flow in our minds, we create an opportunity for ourselves to reanalyze our ideas, opinions, and emotions. When we read our own scribbled pages, it is easier for us to detect our fears, our hopes, and our dreams.
But what happens when we write about the awful times we experienced, about the memories that still hurt us, about the fears that invade our every cell? And how does that help the readers?
Confronting the pain to overcome it
There have been numerous studies on the therapeutic effect of writing. The results differ from study to study, and there is not a clear scientific view on the benefits of writing for our mental health.
With writing about trauma, the scientific world has various opinions. While some consider that writing about traumatic experiences can bring a regression in the health of the subjects, others think that it is a necessary process on the path to healing.
Professor Art Markman concludes in an article from Psychology Today that writing about trauma helps defeat rumination.
Making these traumatic events more coherent makes memories of these events less likely to be repeatedly called to mind, and so they can be laid to rest. — Art Markman
A few years ago, I went to a psychologist to find solutions for my anxiety and depression. I had been in a horrible mood for a couple of weeks, and I tried therapy as a last resort.
On the first appointments with my therapist, I was advised to keep a diary of the good and bad things that happened in my life. Of course, what is good and bad is highly subjective, but that was the whole point of this task: to focus on how I look at things, how I perceive the ups and downs of life. But the anxiety I was then living made me see everything as pointless. So I did not follow his advice and kept ruminating the same thoughts in my mind in an endless circle of pain.
However, in one of the worst anxiety episodes I ever had, I took the pen and started writing. I kept on doing that until I eventually felt that I was able to take the tormenting thoughts out of the system.
My issues were not solved, but my perception had changed. It made me clearly see the points in which I was blocked and the way I was creating obstacles for myself.
From that day on, I knew that one way to run from rumination is by actually taking the thoughts out of my mind through writing.
The list with good and bad things from my everyday life developed into long pages about the traumas that still haunted me. Writing about my trauma, my anxiety, and my fears meant revisiting some of the darkest times and feelings I had ever experienced.
Doing that was no easy job, but it was a necessary one for me and my mental health. It helped me understand how the pain emerged, how I faced it, saw it, and felt it.
It also helped me accept the suffering I was feeling, and through this, to find closure.
Understanding you are not alone
Suffering is a part of life. All of us have difficult times, problems, vulnerabilities, and insecurities. They are part of who we are, and at times, they define us.
When we make the brave step of putting our suffering into our work, we offer the chance to our readers to see that they are not alone. They might face other issues — that are sometimes not even similar to our own — but reading about other people’s suffering can reassure them that pain is something we all struggle with. They might find the hope and courage they need in these stories. Or they might find solutions to their own problems.
We cannot predict the effect these stories will have on our readers, but by sharing them, we are offering our audience the chance to find the closure they need.
In my deepest episodes of anxiety and depression, it felt like nothing would help me. Reading how other people lost their loved ones, their health, or experienced failure in their career did not seem to help me defeat my own demons.
But the effect of these readings was actually very strong. It helped me later realize that by understanding other people’s trauma I had become more empathic.
It also changed the perspective I had on my problems. What for me seemed like a terrible situation was, for others, the motivation they needed to quit their job and follow their passions.
Seeing the braveness of those who wrote about their personal suffering gives us a feeling of acceptance. We sometimes realize how different our situations can be, but how similar we react.
Through this, we can see our own limitations. Or we can find others that are going through almost the same problem as ourselves and that have different attitudes than ours. And with this, we understand that the problem is often the perspective we have, not the event in itself.
In the end, it’s a matter of honesty
Writing about that memory that has been haunting you for years is an act of braveness. Writing about the fear that grips you when you put your head on the pillow is a step towards conquering your fear.
Being honest about the struggles we are facing, putting them on paper, exposing them, and letting strangers observe our vulnerabilities is a challenging, but essential process.
We should do it for ourselves and to find the closure we need.
And we should also be aware of the power our stories can have. They can be the hope others are looking for, and they can be what they need to read when they are not even aware of that.
By sharing our experiences, we offer ourselves and our readers the chance to reanalyze those painful memories from our lives that we cannot forget and that have shaped us into who we are today.
