The Sorrow of Moving On
From Pain…or whatever!
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to known when to let go and then do it.”– Ann Landers
I often do this to myself, I am sure most of us do. At times, when we overthink when, especially when we are lonely, or have nothing else to do or don’t feel like doing anything! Then compare our life with that of our friends’ or someone we know, make ourselves feel inferior for no reason! Okay, stop doing that! Remember, that your brain shouldn’t be controlling your life!
I have realised writing is my form of escape. So, I guess I am writing today, on a Sunday evening (worst evenings of the week to be honest!), to move on myself. If it helps you too, it’d be great!
What is sorrow really?
By definition, it is a feeling that we get when something bad happens. According to my head, my sorrow never ends. But according to my heart, my sorrow shouldn’t even exist in the first place! Stupid organs can’t decide if I should be sad or happy, however, apparently they do!
The real thing is, sorrow, that I have observed is a result of boredom. When you’re working, or are hanging out with people, cleaning, cooking, travelling, do you feel sorrow, pain or lonely? To simply put it, when someone tells you that you should keep yourself busy, they aren’t completely wrong. After months and years of contemplating on this feeling of being a ‘loner’ who likes to keep to herself, I have realised how important it is to keep company too.
When we isolate ourselves on purpose, because it’s comforting, we can only end up in discomfort. Your people will be there for you, but when you push them away, you can’t blame them to not be there for you. They have lives to live, f*cks to give! Why would they invest time in you, when you’ve decided to f*ck with your life!
Therefore, sorrow is nothing but boredom.
Or is it? *wink*
Moving on from pain!
Someone who was slowly healing from depression shared their experience of how you can miss the comfort of the pain you feel when you isolate yourself. I find that hauntingly beautiful and hard-hitting. Once you start healing, you’re going to miss the comfort of being on your own. You will miss the power of your mind that makes you powerless.
When I was completely under the influence of my mind, I used to hate everything and everyone. I was always scared, anxious & stressed. It started reflecting in my relationships. I was pushing away people one by one. I was ready to give up on the life I had worked so hard to build! However, I gave myself time. To feel all of it, in extreme. I allowed it to suck me in and create a vacuum. Finally, when it was created, I felt that vacuum! Felt it so hard, that I wanted to desperately fill it with all the things I had been missing out on. Conversations, music, writing, reading, travelling, dating… all of it!
When I made space for that vacuum to be created, I had space to fill up! When pain is felt in extreme, it makes you tired of it! Pain tires you itself. And forces you to leave it behind.
Leave it then. Pain doesn’t want you anymore.
Namaste.
If you liked reading this experience, do check out my debut poetry book Thorns Of Healing, which is filled with poetic experiences of life, love, mental health, healing & hope. As a new author with no publicist, I know there’s only the writing community here that can help me promote my book. If you wish to discuss on anything, feel free to connect on Instagram.
