How to have a Sucky Time with Friends
The title is pretty self-explanatory, so without wasting anymore keystrokes, let’s get to the point!
1. Pick a place that lets you do little else other than talk
To clarify at the outset, this point doesn’t apply to women and their girlfriends. For women, talking is a very legitimate, very intense and very, VERY important activity. It requires all-consuming and single-point focus. Essentially, talking is to women what sex is to men. It’s pretty hardcore. This point is specifically for all the bros out there.
Pick a place where you can just sit and talk. (You can ask your girlfriends for recommendations.) Preferably drink too. Then watch the good times roll (away). Ensure all your meet-ups happen under these conditions only.
2. Only call people who have boring jobs
Or rather, don’t invite anyone who actually likes their job. This is quite easy, since people who like their jobs anyway do not have time or inclination to sit around and talk over coffee or beer. They’re busy enjoying their work. Call the ones who are stuck in jobs they hate, with bosses they hate and co-workers they — yes, you got it. Call them.
3. Make this plan over an IM/chat group
Anyone who’s ever been the admin of such a group, raise their hand. Sucks, no? Good. So, do that. Don’t call people and ask them if they want to meet up or discuss this in person. Create a sub-group out of multiple larger groups involving people who are part of other groups. Essentially, the idea is to make it as convoluted as possible and leave ample room for misunderstanding as to who has been invited and who isn’t (and why).
4. Ensure you’re in a really bad mood the day of the meet up
This is the icing on the cake. Create as negative a frame of mind as you can. Boss picked someone else over you? Stay angry. Had to work late last night? Let that simmer. Some guy cut into your lane? Remember that. Neighbour’s dog barked at you? That’s good too. Block out all happy thoughts. This is a sucky day. Make the most of it.
5. Make sure at least 8 out of 10 people on your group have really expensive phones
And that’s the cherry on the icing. Expensive phones almost guarantee that a meet-up will be a darned sorry affair. An expensive phone is extremely demanding, and its owners can do little else except give it the attention it needs. Everyone who owns one will be busy on it, talking about it, yelling into it or taking photos with it — all mindlessly boring and pointless activities — which is exactly what we’re aiming at.
This should do it. At least 3 out of these 5 points are a must to ensure you get back home feeling absolutely as bored, drained out and annoyed as you were before, if not more. You will return the very same person you were when you left, just with a little less money. But the best part is the morning after when you realize that it wasn’t even worth it.
The truth is spending time with friends is the single-most stress-free activity you can do, particularly if you live in an Indian metropolis. (Because let’s face it — there’s hardly any scope for recreation in our cities otherwise.) It’s what keep us sane after dull and tiring work weeks, grueling months of cramming for exams; or yet another fight with the (so-called) better half; or pitiable holidays spent on insipid chores and errands.
“Let’s face it — our lives are not exactly as exciting as we make them out to be on Facebook.”
However, this largely depends on how boring (or not) the rest of your activities are. And let’s face it — our lives are not exactly as exciting as we make them out to be on Facebook. That’s why it’s all the more important that the fun activities in our life don’t become meaningless. Sure, it’s great to just ‘hang’ once in a while, but it’s even better to actually go out and do something with people we call friends. Something that’s new, exciting, challenging, even inspiring. That’s where the real good times start. That’s where memories are made. That’s where ah-ma-zing actually begins.
About Brigge
Brigge is a social network for activities that allow people to find company to do the things they love. Whether it be bird watching at a lake, running on the beach or going trekking, create activities and let like-minded folk find and join you. Download the Brigge app today!
