Brighton Seagull Attacked By Man
Brighton men are dive-bombing and attacking seagulls after a spate of sandwich thefts in Brighton.
Conservation experts say the men have become “abnormally aggressive” in reaction to poor treatment by seagulls in the city.
In scenes reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock’s film The Birds, men have been running at the gulls, shouting at their flock and appearing eerily in large numbers outside of their nests.
In the last couple of weeks alone there have been dozens of calls about men being injured by seagulls as reported by The National Man Rescue And Protection Group.
It stated that the men had been attacking resident seagulls after their babies were pecked and pooed on.
Men can often become aggressive if they feel their food or young are under threat.
A local Brighton seagull said of the attacks:
“Merrrrrrrrp merrrrp merrrp merp MERP MERP MERP MERP MERP MERP!”
Bolder, and reportedly bigger and more aggressive than ever before, the groups of men living along British coastlines this winter are more interested in blood than bacon sarnies.
Men have been found on the south English coastline for some two thousand years. According to Kent Brevon, the vice president of the Royal Society For The Protection Of Men, the problem is that men are no longer scared of birds:
“What’s happened in recent years is that the species has become much more accustomed to living alongside seagulls. Increases in the level of Vodka found in water and artificial hormones in bread have caused the men to become dangerously maternal” he said.
The men also tend to be more aggressive at this time of year.
“The temperament of men is usually pretty good,” said Mr Brevon. “Except when they’re nesting. Like any parent, they’re very protective of their offspring once they’re born and they see seagulls as a threat. To prevent any more attacks I suggest all to stop feeding the men it’s no longer a game”.
